Given Time

Queer #1: I can adjust to change, I think.
Queer #2: Yeah, but can your sphincter?

Leon High School
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Deathly Confused

Posted on December 9, 2022
Ass, Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Guys, Queers, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality

Clay Aiken?

Student: I have that song “Ring My Bell” in my head.
Advisor #1: The one by Diana Ross.
Student: I think so.
Advisor #2, from adjacent cube: It's not Diana Ross.
Advisor #1: Well, who is it?
Advisor #2: I don't know, but not Diana Ross.
Student: And that song “In the Navy.”
Advisor #2: That's not Diana Ross either. Just as gay, but not Diana Ross.

El Paso, Texas

Overheard by: Disco Dan

Posted on December 1, 2022
Compare and contrast, Employees, Music, Sexuality, Students, Texas

…Is the Moral Of Every Law and Order Episode

Chick: We just have to accept that people are crazy-ass bitches.
Friend: Apparently.

Aurora, Colorado

Overheard by: Leevee

Posted on November 28, 2022
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Insults, Words

In Fact, They Probably Prefer It.

Chick in hoodie: I think they prefer to be called “little people.”
Preppy guy: When you're hiring them for a sex act I'm pretty sure it's okay to call them midgets.

Landmark Diner
Port Washington, New York

Overheard by: Hunter (aka

Posted on November 21, 2022
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Names, New York, Restaurants, Sex, Students

I Stay Vegan One Day at a Time

Man working in garden: Let me tell you, bacon is the gateway meat.

Community Garden
Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: omh

Posted on November 14, 2022
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Food, Guys

I Demolished That Problem Set, Yo.

Thug #1: Yo, nigga! I will beat you up! You hear me? I will demolish your ass!
Thug #2: Nah man, nah. I'll beat your ass!
Thug #1: Fuck that, nigga, fuck that.
(pause)
Thug #1: Yo, nigga, what was our physics homework for last night?
Thug #2: Section 4. It's on that Archimedes' principle shit.

University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky

Posted on November 8, 2022
Ass, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Kentucky, Questions, Thugs, Words

I Think I Read That in the Bible

Teacher: You can use stethoscopes to listen to water in trees. You should listen to thin trees and trees with less bark.
Student: Should it be hardwood or softwood?
Teacher: Softwood. You can't beat softwood.

Classroom
Alexandria, Virginia