Your Editors Will Watch Drew Barrymore in the Weakest Of Romantic Comedies

20-something girl freaking out after hanging up cell phone: I can't do this! I can't talk to him right now! Will you pretend to be me?
20-something friend: I can't! He'll know because of my lisp!

Chipotle
Lawrence, Kansas

Overheard by: Alexandra

Posted on February 4, 2016
Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Kansas, Language barrier, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants

You'll Pick Up My Tab, Right?

Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)

Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: arrc

Posted on January 19, 2016
Bars & Clubs, Compare and contrast, Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Guys, Massachusetts, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Suits

Knitted Her Own Wings

Female flight attendant on cell: She was the ugliest woman I had ever seen in my life! But I swear she was my guardian angel. (sighs)

Seatac airport
Seattle, Washington

Posted on January 9, 2016
Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Girls, Religion, Washington, Words

Whatever Queen Elizabeth Said Went

Teacher: Next, we're reading Much Ado about Nothing.
(class groans)
Teacher: Back then, “nothing” was slang for “vagina.”
Class: Ooooh.

Enloe High
Raleigh, North Carolina

Posted on January 4, 2016
Books, Compare and contrast, Default, North Carolina, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers, Vagina

It's More About the Attitude Than the Plumbing

Gay guy to female friend: Just because I have testicles doesn't mean I'm any less of a woman.

Saskatchewan
Canadia

Posted on January 2, 2016
Balls, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Friends, Gender issues, Queers

Some College Kids Handle Their Red Bull Addictions Better Than Others

Random guy: It's like I'm on the Pony Express or something…and I'm the pony!

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on January 1, 2016
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Massachusetts, Names

Notice the Bite Marks on My Shoulder

Girl: Kelly from work just texted me.
Guy: She's the really nice one, right?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Who's the one who's not nice?
Girl: Everyone else.

Frederick, Maryland

Posted on December 27, 2015
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Maryland, Questions, Texting

Whereas Elizabeth Taylor Will Turn Into Delicious Pudding

Professor: One day you’ll wake up an old weathered hag, unless you’re Cher–she’ll just turn to dust one day when the sun hits her.

McDaniel College
Maryland

Posted on December 24, 2015
About celebrities, Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Maryland, Teachers

The Republicans Lost Their Focus After the 2008 Election

Sorority girl: Well, did you get spanked by the entire party? No! That was me! (does a victory dance)

San Diego State University
San Diego, California

Overheard by: oh, really?

Posted on December 19, 2015
California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Happiness, Questions

So You're Much Rounder

20-something girl to another: You remind me a lot of my old boss. But she was older than you and she got hit by a dump truck.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Karen

Posted on December 19, 2015
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Pennsylvania

Compare and contrast