You'll Never Graduate Cum Laude at This Rate

High school punk #1: “Fluids” sounds better.
High school punk #2: I don't like fluids.
High school punk #1: And that's why you're flunking band!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: SaraG(as in gee, I wonder what THAT means…)

Posted on February 23, 2016
Compare and contrast, Cum, Gripes, Illinois, Punks, Students, Words

Where Only the Strong Survive Into Adulthood

Jolly literature professor: All of this talk of salacious babysitters and the indiscriminate disposing of corpses makes me feel like I’m back in Jersey again.

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Posted on February 22, 2016
Class, Compare and contrast, Memory lane, Teachers, US Geography, Violence, Virginia

That's True Of Any Cop, Though.

Boy: I should be a rent-a-cop.
Girl #1, laughing: You'd be the least believable rent-a-cop ever.
Girl #2: Yeah, they might mistake you for a gay stripper.

Tempe, Arizona

Posted on February 18, 2016
Arizona, Compare and contrast, Crimes, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Sex, Sexuality

Clearly You've Never Had to Deal with a Crying Five-Year-Old

English teacher: Literature just isn't exciting unless people suffer. Like Dora the Explorer, nothing bad ever happens to her. The show would be a lot better if her monkey got hit by a car and died, wouldn't it?

High School
Calgary
Canadia

Overheard by: mcoo

Posted on February 18, 2016
Animals, Books, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Education, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers

Gosh, I Miss The Osbournes.

Tween boy #1: I'm bummed. I grabbed my mom's iPod instead of mine this morning.
Tween boy #2: They look the same, how do you know it's not yours?
Tween boy #1: I have Radiohead and The Shins, she has Deicide and Cradle of Filth.
Tween boy #2: I love that woman.

High School
Florida

Overheard by: Sandy Paws

Posted on February 17, 2016
Compare and contrast, Florida, Music, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Technology, Tweens

Mostly Because My Mouth Is Full of Flaccid Flesh

Guy to friend: What you should've said was, “Ya know, I don't laugh at you when you can't get your dick hard!”

Decatur, Georgia

Posted on February 15, 2016
Advice, Compare and contrast, Default, Erections, Friends, Georgia, Guys, Penis

I'm Sure I Could Learn to Vacuum in Pearls

20-something girl, to friend: So I was reading in my magazine the other day that only 60% of American women work outside the home. I mean, that is really sad. Why can't I be part of the other 40%?

Appleton, Wisconsin