Guy to friend: What you should've said was, “Ya know, I don't laugh at you when you can't get your dick hard!”
Decatur, Georgia
Guy to friend: What you should've said was, “Ya know, I don't laugh at you when you can't get your dick hard!”
Decatur, Georgia
20-something girl, to friend: So I was reading in my magazine the other day that only 60% of American women work outside the home. I mean, that is really sad. Why can't I be part of the other 40%?
Appleton, Wisconsin
Woman walking out of men's barber shop to friend: I can't believe they wouldn't cut my hair. I'm a lesbian! That makes me a man.
Brisbane
Australia
Guy #1: She is just not attractive. I thought it might help when she smiled, but it didn't.
Guy #2: I know! It only makes it worse.
Wendy's
Carrollton, Texas
Father: So, any luck with finding a jacket?
Teenage daughter: No, but somebody tried to sell me drugs.
Father: Well, that’s something.
Victoria Market
Melbourne
Australia
20-something girl freaking out after hanging up cell phone: I can't do this! I can't talk to him right now! Will you pretend to be me?
20-something friend: I can't! He'll know because of my lisp!
Chipotle
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: Alexandra
Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)
Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: arrc
Female flight attendant on cell: She was the ugliest woman I had ever seen in my life! But I swear she was my guardian angel. (sighs)
Seatac airport
Seattle, Washington
Teacher: Next, we're reading Much Ado about Nothing.
(class groans)
Teacher: Back then, “nothing” was slang for “vagina.”
Class: Ooooh.
Enloe High
Raleigh, North Carolina
Gay guy to female friend: Just because I have testicles doesn't mean I'm any less of a woman.
Saskatchewan
Canadia
