Teen boy being pushed through large crowd: I feel like I'm being born!
Parking Lot
Giants Stadium, New York
Overheard by: Gaby Young
Teen boy being pushed through large crowd: I feel like I'm being born!
Parking Lot
Giants Stadium, New York
Overheard by: Gaby Young
Woman #1: Sorry I'm late, I had bad anxiety.
Woman #2: I have bad allergies and a hangover.
Woman #1: Well, I'm pregnant.
Woman #3, looking up suddenly: What!?
Woman #1: Top that!
Barnes & Noble
Birmingham, Alabama
Law professor, lecturing on sexual abuse: I've had more men shake their weenies at me than I care to count.
Humboldt State University
Arcata, California
Professor: If you want to get drunk and run around your house naked in your free time that’s your own business, but you’re not going to do that at work when you’re in public.
Metropolitan State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Broseph to broski: Shaving your ass is a sign of homosexuality, shaving your testicles is a sign of being a porn star.
Chicago, Illinois
Effeminate boy #1: And he said “my penis is so big I can't control it.”
Effeminate boy #2: Oh, god. Really?
Effeminate boy #1: Yes, his mother uses really scientific terminology.
Effeminate boy #2: Oh. Oh, I see.
Effeminate boy #1: Mhmm. Well, he's only four, too. He's already peed on himself because as he says “it's not long enough go down.” I just call it a pee-pee. That's where the word “pee” comes from. Mmhmm.
Effeminate boy #2: Really! Huh!
Friendship Heights
Washington, DC
Overheard by: aimc
Freshman: Are Arby’s sandwiches any good?
Junior: Arby’s sandwiches are Jesus Christ!
Gilbert High School
Gilbert, Arizona
Teacher: What that show didn't tell you is that ferrets smell like dirty wet dog.
Seven-year-old girl: Well, you know you can get their scent glands removed.
Teacher: Yeah, but is that really good for them?
Seven-year-old girl: I think it's about the same as removing a dog's testicles.
Seattle, Washington
Friend #1: He actually has had sex before.
Friend #2: What! I thought he was on the V-boat with me!
Friend #1: The V-boat?
Friend #2: It's like a U-boat, but sadder.
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: Not on the boat
Teenage daughter: Mom, I have a plan for my future.
Mother: And what's that?
Teenage daughter: Save someone's life so they are indebted to me and will buy me the complete Twilight Zone boxed set.
Mother: Between this and your brother who I haven't seen in four days, I don't think I screwed up at all.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
