Dude: It's not racial profiling, because every black person breaks the law.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Dude: It's not racial profiling, because every black person breaks the law.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Man in tracksuit to friends: That fucking Rembrandt's a cunt!
Chester
England
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash mom: You want mommy to push your stroller?
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash dad: You wanna go ten feet under?!
White trash mom: Honey, it's six feet.
Sears
Nashua, New Hampshire
Overheard by: jefe
20-something girl: I am so bad with directions. I can't find my way around anywhere.
20-something guy: That's because you're a woman.
20-something girl: Way to be sexist! (long pause) But yeah, you're probably right.
Cardinal Stritch University
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Girl #1: Hey, what’s your shoe size?
Girl #2: Six.
Girl #1: I’ve got a pair of shoes that would fit you, if you want them. They smell vaguely of bacon.
Vancouver
British Columbia
Canadia
Anthropology teacher: That's just like saying the point of sex is to have an orgasm. If that were the case you could do it yourself! There's no need to involve another person!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Terrance Williams
Dude: Oooh, they’re so warm. I like to put it to my ear after they get out.
Chick: Yeah… It smells like carrots.
Dude, scoffing: I don’t know what kind of carrots you’ve been eating!
Chick: The kind that smell like paper.
1401 University Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona
History teacher: The thing about school is, it's not how hard you smart.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Sweaty guy: Lobsters are self-aware, man.
(friend #1 and friend #2 nod in agreement)
Sweaty guy: Yeah, I used to work in this restaurant, and we'd make this lobster soup every day. I'd put one lobster on the counter and one in the boiling water. Dude, as soon as the first lobster hit the water, his buddy would start freaking out. He would put his claws up, like he was pleading for his life.
Friend #1: Yeah, they're smart. My friend's family had a pet lobster. He'd eat with them and everything.
Friend #2: Like on The Simpsons!
Sweaty guy, to himself: Lobsters are self-aware. Crabs, they don't give a shit, but lobsters? They're self-aware.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Karl
Woman to friend: How can she know she's bi at 16? I'm 35 and *I* don't know if *I'm* bi!
Outside Steinmart
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: BecauseISaidSo
