Guy #1: Yo, fathead! Going to prison is just a fact of life. Everybody goes at least once.
Guy #2: I know, man…I'm just gonna miss the daily hustle.
Guy #1: Like I said, you're not a man till you've worn a jumpsuit.
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Hannah H
[Three intoxicated college girls are walking along the street. One trips, falls, and all three laugh hysterically. An unmarked police van passes by]Cop, yelling out of the window: Looks like three underage drinking tickets right there!
Girl #1: We’re all 21!
Cop: Well, it looks like you’re 4!
Girl #2: Looks like you’re 37 and looking for a boyfriend!
Madison, Wisconsin
Director of the office of judicial affairs: It was a blizzard. It was snowing so much, it was snowing like a pig. (pause) I have no idea why I just said that.
Orientation
University, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Emurii
Loud woman: But she said it wasn't a Target! It was a Wal-Mart. And then the grandmother didn't die. And she's still alive today!
Panda East
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rachel
College guy #1: Castaway is such a good movie… except why is it called Castaway? He wasn't cast away, he was just… lost.
College guy #2: Well, I guess he was kind of cast out of society because he was lost, you know?
College guy #1: Yeah…I still don't get it. It's not like someone came up to him and was like “Hey you, I'm casting you away!”
College guy #2: Right. Hey, you know what's another really good movie? Nanook of the North. It has an igloo in it!
Camp Randall Sports Center
Madison, Wisconsin
Girl on cell: So he was like, “I was thinking about going to Austin, because Brian's there.” and I was like, “Fuck Brian. I make better waffles.”
Boston, Massachusetts
Linda: Ugh, this class is so depressing!
Professor: Let’s all take ten seconds to think about baby lambs to make Linda feel happy. [pause] Okay, back to Terri Schiavo!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Physics student: If you go faster than the speed of sound, can you…hear…into the future?
Kingston High School
Kingston, New York
Girl: This entire city smells like vagina.
Toronto
Canadia
Teen girl: My other friend is, like, sooo dumb, I'm so glad she isn't dead!
66 Bus
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: kerminator
