Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!
Airport
Phoenix, Arizona
Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!
Airport
Phoenix, Arizona
Teacher: Sit the fuck down and stop acting like a bird!
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Seventeen-year-old girl to boyfriend: You can't do anything right! I send you in there to buy me some porn and you come out with hermaphrodites? It's called Real Chicks with Real Dicks, for fuck's sake.
Boyfriend (in thick accent): I'm sorry… My english…it is not too good. I saw chicks, I saw dicks…I just grabbed it.
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: taylor
Ghetto chick screaming at other: Do you deserve your ovaries? I parked your car for you, bitch!
Porter Square
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: well, do you?
Prof: I like to click on the descriptive statistics checkbox in order to pleasure myself!
Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Can't believe she said that
Girl #1: Did you hear John* is thinking about getting a new tattoo?
Girl #2: Yeah? What's it gonna be?
Girl #1: He wants to get a kangaroo wearing gumboots, with a shovel over its shoulder. How classy is that?
Sydney
Australia
Woman to friend: I cannot even begin to tell you about the ridiculousness of yogurt.
The Gayborhood
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: inquiring mind
Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.
Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
