Can You Even Use “Oxygen” As a Verb Like That?

Male flight attendant: … And if you brought more than two children with you today, decide which your favorite is and oxygen that one first.

Southwest Airlines Flight #135

Posted on January 5, 2026
Advice, Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Etiquette, Family ties, Flight attendants, Guys, Jerks, Offspring, Threats, Weirdness

But He’s Our President, So We Have to Listen

Guy in restaurant to female companion: Of course, this is coming from a guy who eats potpourri…

Central Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted on January 5, 2026
Bragging, Couples, Default, Food, Guys, Ohio, Women, Words

We’re Getting Closer to an Answer All the Time

Guy #1: How much have you had to drink?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: But how many?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: Yeah, how many beers have you had?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: How many have you had though?
Guy #2: I’m only drinking beers tonight.

Pinehaven
New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty

Posted on January 4, 2026
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Guys, Idiots, New Zealand, Questions, Stupidity, Words

And Won First Prize at the Science Fair

Serious drunk guy: I made babies with a woman!

BrewFest
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Drunk Girl

Posted on January 4, 2026
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drunks, Guys, Offspring, Pennsylvania, Relationships, Sexuality, Weirdness

Well, You’re Not Gonna Turn Kids Off Sex with the Truth!

Health teacher: Man, you girls these days! Wanting to have all the wrong kinds of fun… You know what, if a vagina was used by 15 different people, that vagina would probably be as wide as this door!

McNair Academic High School
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on January 3, 2026
Advice, Default, Education, Etiquette, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Teachers, Vagina

How Everybody Reacts to Ann Coulter’s Baby Pictures

Liberal student, passing photo of cute baby: Aw… [realizing it’s an ad for campus pro-life group] … Ugh.

Princeton University
New Jersey

Posted on January 3, 2026
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Politics, Pregnancy, Students

Or “Freshmen”

Lit professor: Now, when we plant humans and they grow, we call those “zombies”.

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Posted on January 3, 2026
Class, Default, Education, Pop culture, Science, Teachers, Virginia, Words, Zombies

And No Finger-Cymbals for You Tonight.

Screaming seven-year-old on the ground: But I want to sing! I want to sing now!
Patient but angry mom: Well, you should have thought about that before. It’s too late. Now get your kazoo and get in the car.

Easley High
Easley, South Carolina