Policeman opening doors of Social Security office: Before I let you in, does anyone have any weapons?
Tiny old lady jumping the queue: Just my fist!
Wilkesboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jen
Policeman opening doors of Social Security office: Before I let you in, does anyone have any weapons?
Tiny old lady jumping the queue: Just my fist!
Wilkesboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jen
Girl on the street (looking at cars go by): Have you ever noticed how old people are like drunk people driving?
Fairfax, California
Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No…
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.
The Mall
Victoria
Canadia
Girl #1: She finally cleaned up the dog crap!
Girl #2: What? Her dog crapped in the house?
Girl #1: No, but it was all over the front yard. Can you imagine me trying to walk through that drunk?
Guy: I'm pretty sure that what happens when you're drunk is your responsibility. Getting trashed doesn't make stepping in dog shit someone else's fault.
Girl #1: Don't hate! Oh my god!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Random guy: Dudes! I just wasted 30,000 feet of caution tape!
Sheetz
Pennsylvania
Woman deli worker to male worker: Three dollar juice? Shit, what are you, a millionaire?
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
College guy: He's going to be the kind of teacher who punches his kids' sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly? I don't think so! Peanut butter and smush!
ECU Dining Hall
Greenville, North Carolina
Mother to four-year-old in doctor's waiting room: Come on, Sam*, we're next.
Sam: Are we seeing the doctor?
Mother: Yup.
Sam: (pause) Well, okay. As long as he doesn't look at my penis.
Hurstbridge Medical Center
Hurstbridge
Australia
Skinny girl to prettier friend: You can't toss him a mercy fuck every time his father dies.
Arby's
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Gwen West
Guy #1: Man, it's all cloudy down there.
Guy #2: Yeah…
Guy #1: You know, that's the problem with America… we have a lot of clouds.
Newark Airport, New Jersey
Overheard by: Romulo Escamilla
