Girl #1: Where are you from?
Irish exchange student: I'm from Ireland.
Girl #2: Oh my gosh! Do they have years over there?
University of Florida
Girl #1: Where are you from?
Irish exchange student: I'm from Ireland.
Girl #2: Oh my gosh! Do they have years over there?
University of Florida
Hot chick: I'm speaking with naked guy about his celibacy.
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
College-age guy looking at online job application: Do I have any special skills? Well, I can put my penis in my mouth. (pause) On a good day.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Michael
(women's restroom, a man in a Santa suit enters)
Drunk woman: Hey, you're not a boy!
Restroom attendant: You mean he's not a girl.
Drunk woman: Yeah, you're not a girl!
Drunk Santa: Ho ho ho, ladies! I just wanted to see what you wanted for Christmas!
Drunk woman: Huh?
Restroom attendant: I want money, haha!
Drunk Santa: Then cross your labia, ladies, and merry Christmas!
(he leaves)
Drunk woman: Wait, what?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Guy #1: I can seriously never eat Cup noodles again.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Because yesterday I was taking a dump and I felt it come out but I never heard it hit the water, so I looked down and it's dangling by a noodle!
Guy #2: Is that even possible?
California
Flight attendant, after landing: If anyone left a black coat, please come to the front of the cabin to claim it. (pause) Or if anyone would like to take a black coat for free.
Orlando, Florida
Human evolution professor, showing a slide of a monkey: Just look at those testicles! They're huge and pink…just…they're all in your face!
Anthropology Classroom, Kent State University
Ohio
Overheard by: Laureen
Little boy: Daddy, how are we going to get down?
Father: Parachutes.
Top of Space Needle
Seattle, Washington
Girl: My mom said “Just don't pass out in the port-a-potty.”
Baltimore, Maryland
Little boy: Look! An end-of-the world watch!
Smith's Marketplace
Salt Lake City, Utah
