BBW: You wouldn’t want to see me in pretzel-formation.
Skinny man: How would you know?
BBW: I mean it. You really wouldn’t want to see me in pretzel-formation. It’s not very pretty to watch. It gets stuck easily that way.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Melissa
Guy to friend: Jeff Gordon riding a Velociraptor alongside Jesus…
Appalchian State University
Boone, North Carolina
Overheard by: Diana Mason
Guy: If you bang a girl unprotectedly, you have to keep banging her protectedly to make sure she doesn't start showing.
Allston, Massachusetts
Six-year-old boy: Mommy, my leg hair is growing a lot lately!
Mom: Yeah, I noticed…
Six-year-old: But I haven't grown my facial hair yet.
Mom: It'll probably happen pretty soon.
Six-year-old: I think I'll get my facial hair when I'm like 9 or 10.
Mom: Unfortunately, that sounds about right. God, you are going to be so stinky!
Six-year-old, delightedly: Yes, I will be!
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Le mere
Professor: Nobody thinks they're eating brains!
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Mallory
Cashier #1: He's definitely overcompensating for something.
Cashier #2: I do not know what that word means.
Cashier #3: “Compensate?” You don't know what that means?
Cashier #2: “Compensate?” Penetrate–I know what *that* is.
Filene's Basement
Washington, DC
Teen boy: You know, I really appreciate you complimenting my baseball skills, but I really don’t appreciate you complimenting my boxer choices.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/305634992/but-theyre-just-so-nice.html
Overheard by: just trying to get to class…
Botany professor, lecturing on plant reproduction: Now, I'm sure you all know plenty about sex in humans by now. (pause) Because of the Ontario school system. (pause) And…stuff.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: The Shrew
Blonde in jacket: I know this guy that totally disemboweled a bomb using only a toothpick.
Demeaning guy friend: “Disemboweled”?
Blonde in jacket: With nothing but a toothpick! Isn't that incredible?
Denny's
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Gabe
Upset gay boy: This is awful. I just wanted you to see the giant vagina made of sand.
Virginia Tech
