Chick: Yeah, he was just showing us random slides and told us to guess what they were. And there was this one slide — at first I thought it was Jesus and some chick, but on the next slide the dude was turning into a horse and I thought, ‘Jesus never did that!’ so I just put down ‘Man turning into a horse.’
Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana
Student: Yeah, she said ‘good luck’ to me. [Friend rolls eyes and shakes head.] I know. It’s the University of Toronto — she doesn’t mean ‘good luck.’ What she really means is ‘I hope you choke on a toothpick and die so I can get your spot in the program.’
Friend, sighing: It really is a shame this school has to be so competitive… How’d you do on that last test?
University of Toronto
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: A+
Man in line for character photos: Crap, I just took a picture of someone else's kids, I'm not a pedophile, don't start thinking that!
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
Ghetto girl on cell: I don’t care what the fuck they said… They don’t know shit ’bout my coochie!
McArthur Center
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: wes
Hotel concierge: So, how did you enjoy The Big Easy?
Tourist lady: Oh, New Orleans is a wonderful city. I just wish I knew what it smelled like…
Drunk guy: “Ass.” That's the word your looking for. The city smells like ass.
Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Bored woman on cell: Wow, you have a lot of potatoes.
Airport
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: … What?!
Student: Should I take it out right now?
Philosophy professor: Keep your hands where I can see them while you're talking!
Philosophy Club
College, Illinois
Guy, seriously: Let's just make a rule that there is a limit to how much licking.
Forensic Anthropology Class
Metro State, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Normal-looking guy, watching victory speech: Why does everybody look so cold? It's not that cold near Seattle.
Pretty lady, confused: Seattle?
Normal-looking guy: Yeah, they're in Washington, right?
San Diego, California
Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I’m just used to seeing you from behind.
Hartford, Connecticut
