Neighbor: Dude, condoms don't work on dogs.
Lawrence, Kansas
Neighbor: Dude, condoms don't work on dogs.
Lawrence, Kansas
Dude: But he fucked my mom!
Friend: Well, you did steal his dog.
Dude: Yeah, I guess.
Flea Market
Tennessee
Overheard by: Mouse
Guy, to friend: And so I said to him: “If you’d never seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon your life would be so different right now.”
Bus
Coventry
England
Kindergartener, in agitation: There are so many mothers here!
Ellicott City, Maryland
Kid #1: My dad is from London!
Kid #2: I want to live there. They have ghosts! And trees! And ghosts in trees!
Saint Paul, Minnesota
Nine year-old girl: I want that shirt and you are going to get it for me. Any questions?
Mom: Many. Shut up and put the damn shirt back.
Target
Atlanta, Georgia
College tour guide, passing crying student: College is hard. You will cry.
Willamette University
Salem, Oregon
College jock: Girls suck. I would so be your gay lover if it weren’t for the whole butt-sex thing.
Scrawny friend: Me too, man.
Davis, California
Brunette hipster: Who’s Mario Batali?
Blonde hipster: You know, that red-haired chef that looks like he’d smell like ass.
Brunette hipster: Oh, okay. Yeah. Totally.
Toi
Los Angeles, California
