Professor, about a book currently sold out at the campus bookstore: This book has been required in my class for years. All the upperclassmen have this book. Borrow it! (whispering) Steal it!
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Girl #1, entering mall: Do you think you can pay a drug dealer with a gift card?
Girl #2: That would be so cool!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Christmas Shopper thinking to same thing
Chick: If I were a lesbian, I'd be really good at it.
Campsite, Southern Utah
Overheard by: Lauren
young man, on cell phone, sounding curious and excited,"wait-who is destroying my immortal soul?"
Denver, CO, waiting for lightrail downtown
Overheard by: Kirsten
Blonde: … And then there was, like, this penis all up in my face, and I was like, ‘But I thought you were a girl…’
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Anna
Girl, to friends: So then she e-mailed us all, and she was like, “We just ate an African baby!”
Memorial University
St. John's
Newfoundland, Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Girl #1: I could never be a vegetarian.
Girl #2: Ugh, me neither, I love meat way too much.
Girl #1: I know. Especially when it's been caged and slapped around.
Girl #2: Totally.
Starbucks
Blonde carrying violin case: Now I know how to attack a g-string properly!
Australia
Overheard by: hoping she was talking about music
20-something guy on phone: Then I went to McDonald's and they said that I'm too old. I'm not too old! I can go to Chuck E. Cheese if I want! I'm not too old. Just so long as I can have fun. I'm not too old…
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: Just minding my own business as usual.
Female Latin professor, explaining difference between active and passive verbs: You know what the best verb for this is? “Fuck.” There is a big difference between fucking and being fucked. Also, “to stab” or “to be stabbed.”
University of Puget Sound
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Nellie
