Ever Wake Up in Mid-Sentence, With No Idea What You're Talking About?

Male student: Sorry to use an STD metaphor again, but I think the bee pubic hair represented herpes.

Whittier College
Whittier, California

Overheard by: Sam (kind of hard not to)

Posted on March 6, 2009
Animals, California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Hair, Maladies, STDs, Students

Ever Eaten in Our Cafeteria?

Teacher to student: See, why can't you be more of a brown noser, like him? (points at another student)
Student: Because I don't like the taste of ass?
(class groans)
Teacher: Don't knock it till you try it.

San Diego, California

Posted on March 6, 2009
Advice, Ass, California, Class, Default, Questions, Students, Teachers, Words

Just a Little Tip from Me to You

Customer to cashier: A lot of people say the witching hour is midnight, but it's actually 3 am. I know this because I worship Satan.

Supermarket
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: RW

Posted on March 5, 2009
Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Missouri, Names, Religion

Economics Really Is a Dismal Science

Professor just before class starts: There's no sporting events this weekend, right? We need something to bet on. (pause) I've got it! How about the hurricane?

CSU Classroom
Fort Collins, Colorado

Posted on March 5, 2009
Class, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Questions, Teachers, Weather

That's How Christianity Works

College student: I may not know what I'm doing, but I know what I'm not doing.

Decatur, Illinois

Posted on March 5, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Illinois, Students, Weirdness, Words

Um, Remember When You Tried That in the Pew at Your Uncle's Funeral?

Guy on cell : Yeah, dude, I got her tickets to the Met! $15 seats, so we're way up there, but we're on the aisle too, so we won't get interfered with while we're going at it. (a few minutes later) So the loss of my virginity is imminent.

Jersey City Light Rail
New Jersey

Overheard by: twoferrets

Posted on March 5, 2009
Default, Guys, Money, Names, New Jersey, Sex

You Say That About Everything, Heather.

Girl: Biology is so interesting! I mean, like, the Golgi apparatus. It reminds me of sex toys!

IUPUI Campus
Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on March 4, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Indiana, Science, Toys

At Least Now You Know Enough to Keep the Jewelry

Teenage girl to friends: So at first I just really liked him but now I think I love him!
Bored friend: Here comes the breakup.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: JDowntown

Posted on March 4, 2009
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Relationships, Teens

I Don't Judge– As Long As She Tips

Waiter: Table for three?
Middle aged woman: No, four. I know we look like three but…
Waiter: No, I get it. Imaginary friend.

Tasty Thai
Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Posted on March 4, 2009
Default, Employees, Food, Offers and requests, Oregon, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness, Women

…And Light Green.

Dad: There are some things you can't discuss with girls. Like I would never tell your mom about the really weird-colored shit I had last night.
Preteen son: What color was it?
Dad: See, that's not the kind of question a girl would ask.

Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Didn't want to hear it either

Posted on March 4, 2009
Dads, Default, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Malls, Poop, Questions, Tweens, Washington

Default