Frat boy on cell: I am going to get so wasted! I'm going to get wasted on water. I will drink so much water that I'll be like, “Ahhh, I'm drowning in water!” I will be that fucking drunk, bro. With water!
Michigan State University
Frat boy on cell: I am going to get so wasted! I'm going to get wasted on water. I will drink so much water that I'll be like, “Ahhh, I'm drowning in water!” I will be that fucking drunk, bro. With water!
Michigan State University
Professor: This weekend I went to a new restaurant that had a bar. It was interesting to see how the new generation dances these days.
Student: What's weird about dancing?
Professor: In my day we would have called that rape.
UNH
Durham, New Hampshire
Foreign professor: If I would be you, I would cheat.
Western Kentucky University
Little boy: Today is the perfect day for a yellow balloon.
Restaurant
Vancouver
Canadia
Professor, talking about Meatless Tuesdays during WWI: And what would not eating meat save?
Genius (excitedly): Bullets!
Professor: Um, no.
Genius: By not having to shoot the animals.
History Class, Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: be CNU
Teenage cart boy on cell: I'm at GIANT right now. I just have to go home and take a shit and I'll be fine.
GIANT
Lehighton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Missy
Professor about poem A Wife's Lament: The real issue we are dealing with with this woman is how many guys are involved and in what kinds of positions.
Univsersity of Colorado, Denver
Asian #1: So do you guys eat a lot of Mongolian beef and shit?
Asian #2: Dude! I'm Korean!
(later)
Asian #2: Do you understand everything in those anime movies?
Asian #1: I'm not Japanese! Now I don't feel so bad.
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Guy #1: You want to come hang out at my grandparents' with me?
Guy #2: That's alright. I don't like hanging out with grandparents. They're always dying and shit.
Gastown
Vancouver
Canadia
