Coworker: Where were you? You were meant to be in work at 7!
Drunk Slovakian guy arriving at work: I drank Jack Daniels until 5 this morning, then went to bed. I woke at nine and fucked Jane, then got my brother to drop me off at work.
Craigavon
Northern Ireland
Guy #1: I once tried to hit on a chick while I was drunk and throwing up, but now that's just a fun story I tell and nobody lost their respect for me.
Guy #2: Except for the girl you were hitting on.
Guy #1: Well, I don't know. Her nickname was “dicktooth.”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Middle aged woman with grandchildren, at 11:30 am: I just took the kids out to breakfast and now I need to go home and have me a Jack Daniels.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/329259996/please-bring-me-with-you.html
Overheard by: Les
Teen girl to teen boy: But you can't play spin the bottle with a box of wine!
Giant Eagle
Parma, Ohio
Overheard by: Tmoore
Drunk male friend: What do you want for your birthday, baby? I can make it happen, just tell me what you want!
Really, really drunk birthday girl, pointing at someone else: I want in that guy's pants!
Norfolk, Virginia
Dude: She fucks like a division one athlete. I swear, I take three shots of whiskey before I go to her place. I need to have the spins so I have any chance of lasting.
Ten Stone
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: johnny
Girl: I feel rather drunk at this conjuncture!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
20-something brunette: I mean, what else are you supposed to do when someone shits their pants…drink more vodka!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Chaser
Young woman on cell: Did you just say “The cables must be subjugated”? Uh huh… Okay… Yeah, I don’t think you’re okay to drive either.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nic
Little girl: He's drunk, I swear!
Teenage sister: He's not drunk, he's a foreigner.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
