Drunk 20-something, yelling in a crowd: Because I am a grad student and I don't do anything!
Older woman: You know there are some attractive young men over by the band.
Drunk 20-something: Well, I do do that.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Drunk 20-something, yelling in a crowd: Because I am a grad student and I don't do anything!
Older woman: You know there are some attractive young men over by the band.
Drunk 20-something: Well, I do do that.
Cincinnati, Ohio
80-year-old grandmother walking feebly down the stairs: I'm not drunk; I'm handicapped.
Daughter assisting her: She's drunk and handicapped.
80-year-old grandmother: Okay. That's true… I just didn't want to bring my cane.
Turner Field, Braves Game
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Drunk, but Not Handicapped
Drunk girl: I love the boners that sound like sandwiches! Boner on wheat, boner on rye… That's pretty much it.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Drunk girl: We were around the bonfire eating flamin' hot Cheetos, and then his brother ran around with the gas can, naked.
Trailer Park
Central Texas
Overheard by: HaleyJ
Incredibly drunk sorority girl to boyfriend: Sweetie, can we throw up before we do it tonight?
UBC
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: The only sober guy on the bus
Drunk guy #1: So what you're saying is, we rip the spine out of a dog?
Drunk guy #2: Yeah, but then you put a robotic spine in. You could get a remote-controlled dog.
Drunk guy #1: Shit, we could control its bark function.
Drunk girl: And make it ski.
Leamington Spa
England
Drunk girl stumbling outside bar, dropping purse and chasing after boyfriend: You are the ruiner of fun.
Provincetown, Massachusetts
Straight guy: Why do gay men love boobs but hate vaginas?
Gay guy: Because boobs are pretty and vaginas look like a roast beef sandwich.
Drunk guy: I could so go for Arby's right now.
Huaraz
Peru
Overheard by: Nick
Drunk dude to girl: You will get absolutely no penis in your life! None!
Transit Train
New Jersey
Overheard by: Russ
