Kid Surprises Are Fun, but Illegal

Woman #1, approaching register counter: Ooh! Kinder eggs! I love those things!
Woman #2: What are they?
Woman #1: They're chocolate! With something inside!
Cashier: They're hollow chocolate eggs.
Woman #1: With a surprise inside!
Woman #2: Ew!
Cashier: It's a toy.
Woman #2: Oh. A toy.
Cashier: Whoa, okay, just imagine you were a kid again, and what a surprise meant when you were a kid.
Woman #2: I know… I know. It's just, adult surprises are never fun.
Woman #1, walking out of store: What were you thinking it was going to be? A penis that would squirt all over you?
Woman #2: You never know! Adult surprises are always bad!

San Francisco, California

Posted on July 8, 2015
Candy, Clients, Cum, Employees, Kids, Penis, Questions, San Francisco, Shopping, Toys

Why Are These Bills Sticking Together?

Woman: Sorry, I have to pay in singles.
Cashier: That's okay, people do all the time. (asking innocently) Are you a waitress?
Woman: No, honey. My career is a little less wholesome than that.
Cashier: (stutters and looks at her screen) Alright then, your total is $27.45.

Kroger
Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted on July 8, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Jobs & Careers, Money, Ohio, Questions, Stores, Women

‘Cause I’m Sick of Them Interrupting My Reality Shows with Speeches

Genius cashier: Did they decide on a President yet? You know, the President thing?

North Andover, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Wrote it on my receipt so I wouldn’t forget

Posted on July 8, 2015
Default, Employees, Idiots, Massachusetts, Politics, Questions, Stupidity

…After You Put Your Legs Up on Your Desk, Ma'am.

Male lab instructor: So, really, it's totally unnatural for a human baby to pass through such a small birth canal when their heads are so big. But it's also unnatural for us to give birth laying down. We should stand. Then the canal is more open, and gravity does most of the work. We are fighting nature. Now, why am I talking about pregnancy? I lost my train of thought.

Anthropology Class
Kent State University, Ohio

Posted on July 4, 2015
Body parts, Class, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Guys, Ohio, Pregnancy, Questions

Or the Pope's Been Using That “Sugar N' Spice” Bodywash Again

Tour guide: Now go up the stairs and take a left at the top. (pause) Wait, do I smell cookies? I smell cookies!

Vatican Museum
Vatican City

Overheard by: Face

Posted on June 24, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Europe, Food, Questions, Tourist attractions

How Little You Wear Under It Is Up to You

Woman holding long sweater: Excuse me, do you work here?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: What is this? Is this a dress?
Employee: It's one of those… long… sweaters…

H&M, Water Tower Place
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 20, 2015
Clothes, Clothing, Default, Employees, Illinois, Questions, Shopping, Stores, Women

Joking in Florida Is Always Risky

Lost mother with child to employee: Excuse me, sir? Where can I find the exit?
Employee (bluntly): Um, you have to buy something before you can leave.
Lost mother with child: (blank stare)

Sam Ash
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Stole something instead