Employees

Guy with chocolate bars: Are these really two for two dollars?
Wal-Mart cashier: All I know is they're a dollar each.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/402280353/you-cant-buy-that-kind-of-knowledge.html

Overheard by: ellie.

Poor overworked guy at counter: Please pardon my ignorance. My computers have collapsed, and that means my brain doesn't work anymore.

International Airport
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Meaghan

Starbucks employee: Actually, most of the stores in the city are out of soy today.
Pompous customer: Well, what am I supposed to do? Starve?

Starbucks
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ho Lexington III

Woman #1, approaching register counter: Ooh! Kinder eggs! I love those things!
Woman #2: What are they?
Woman #1: They're chocolate! With something inside!
Cashier: They're hollow chocolate eggs.
Woman #1: With a surprise inside!
Woman #2: Ew!
Cashier: It's a toy.
Woman #2: Oh. A toy.
Cashier: Whoa, okay, just imagine you were a kid again, and what a surprise meant when you were a kid.
Woman #2: I know… I know. It's just, adult surprises are never fun.
Woman #1, walking out of store: What were you thinking it was going to be? A penis that would squirt all over you?
Woman #2: You never know! Adult surprises are always bad!

San Francisco, California

Woman: Sorry, I have to pay in singles.
Cashier: That's okay, people do all the time. (asking innocently) Are you a waitress?
Woman: No, honey. My career is a little less wholesome than that.
Cashier: (stutters and looks at her screen) Alright then, your total is $27.45.

Kroger
Cincinnati, Ohio

Genius cashier: Did they decide on a President yet? You know, the President thing?

North Andover, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Wrote it on my receipt so I wouldn’t forget

Male lab instructor: So, really, it's totally unnatural for a human baby to pass through such a small birth canal when their heads are so big. But it's also unnatural for us to give birth laying down. We should stand. Then the canal is more open, and gravity does most of the work. We are fighting nature. Now, why am I talking about pregnancy? I lost my train of thought.

Anthropology Class
Kent State University, Ohio

Tour guide: Now go up the stairs and take a left at the top. (pause) Wait, do I smell cookies? I smell cookies!

Vatican Museum
Vatican City

Overheard by: Face

Woman holding long sweater: Excuse me, do you work here?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: What is this? Is this a dress?
Employee: It's one of those… long… sweaters…

H&M, Water Tower Place
Chicago, Illinois

Lost mother with child to employee: Excuse me, sir? Where can I find the exit?
Employee (bluntly): Um, you have to buy something before you can leave.
Lost mother with child: (blank stare)

Sam Ash
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Stole something instead