Then I'm Afraid There'll Be No Way Around Our Necromany Fee

Woman in cell phone store: I want to change the billing name on this account.
Employee: I'm sorry, we can't allow you to make changes on this account. You're not the primary account-holder.
Woman: Right. The primary account holder died.
Employee: I'm sorry, only the primary account-holder can make changes to the account.
Woman: He's dead!

Verizon Store
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on November 1, 2008
Customers, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Michigan, Names, Offers and requests, On the phone, Stores, Stupidity, Wishes, Women

When God Closes a Tomb, He Opens the Doors

Lunching law firm girl #1: Oh god, when it comes to my track record… Seriously, I've dated two vampires and a guy who thought he was Jim Morrison reincarnated.
Lunching law firm girl #2: That's ridiculous. (pause) My junior year high school English teacher was Jim Morrison reincarnated. God!

Quizno's
Tucson, Arizona

Posted on October 27, 2008
About celebrities, Arizona, Coworkers, Default, Education, Employees, Girls, Relationships, Restaurants, Weirdness

It's for Grandma's Glaucoma

Employee: Hi, can I help you find anything?
Ghetto kid: Yeah, I'm looking for a book called Marijuana Horticulture.
Employee: Yeah, I know that book. I think we are out, though.

Bookstore
Stockton, California

Overheard by: Can I get some of that?

Posted on October 23, 2008
Books, California, Default, Drugs, Employees, Guys, Offers and requests, Stores

God Only Knows What Goes on There at Night

Zookeeper, to penguin pecking at her shirt: Am I dirty? Am I a dirty little birdie? Do I need preening?

Mystic Aquarium, Connecticut

Posted on September 30, 2008
Animals, Connecticut, Default, Employees, Questions, Weirdness

I'm So Glad You Confided in Me

Frumpy middle aged woman: Excuse me, who can I talk to if I'm interested in purchasing a piece of furniture?
Employee: That would be me. How can I help you?
Frumpy middle aged woman: I'm interesting in purchasing a piece of furniture.

Furniture Store
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on September 20, 2008
Customers, Default, Employees, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Shopping, Stores, Women, Words

Isn't That the Title of a Kanye West Song?

Man in mall: Excuse me, where can I hail a taxi?
Mall employee: This is Vermont, dude.
Man in mall: There has to be taxis. There are roads, aren't they?
Mall employee: Nope, no taxis. But lots of guns.

Rutland, Vermont

Overheard by: MeggerzDotCom

Posted on September 13, 2008
Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Malls, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Questions, US Geography, Vermont, Violence

Must Be the Sugar-Free Kind

Production assistant on film set: This gaffer's tape just doesn't taste good.

Berkeley, California

Overheard by: bond

Posted on September 10, 2008
California, Default, Employees, Sensory experiences

In South Carolina, Getting a Piece of Tail Involves Surgery

Teenage waitress telling baby boomer male customer her medical issues: Yeah, and I got this tail thing right here. (points at lower back) It looks like I'm growing a tail.

Fatz Cafe
Lexington, South Carolina

Posted on September 5, 2008
Body parts, Default, Employees, Restaurants, South Carolina, Teens, Weirdness

If Worse Comes to Worse, We've Rented Some Large Ducks

Airline personnel: We should be boarding the plane at 10:25… If we have a plane.

Airport
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Burt

Posted on August 2, 2008
Airports & flights, Default, Employees, Public transportation, Time Management, Virginia, Wishes

Employees