Elevator repair man: Hey, I got a call that someone was stuck in the elevator.
Security guard: Yeah, but I haven't heard any more noise from her in like four hours, so I guess she's fine.
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Elevator repair man: Hey, I got a call that someone was stuck in the elevator.
Security guard: Yeah, but I haven't heard any more noise from her in like four hours, so I guess she's fine.
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Tour guide: Be sure to stay with the group. The rats are very large and can sense weakness within the herd. (gives hard look to four old women)
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Julia
Store clerk: Oh yeah, karaoke. I used to be totally into that shit back when I was gay.
The Video Underground
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sam
Parking lot attendant on phone: Whenever I try to do that my nipples just get really stretched out.
Chapel Hill
University of North Carolina
Bank teller: (nods)
Customer: People have forgotten how to praise the Lord!
Bank teller: (nods)
Customer: Don't complain that you can't find a job! Praise god that there are jobs!
Bank of America
Palm Harbor, Florida
Overheard by: Serena H.
Blond cocktail waitress, looking at a t-shirt of George Bush and his dad with Dumb and Dumber under photos: Who is that?
Chef: Excuse me! Are you serious?
Blond cocktail waitress (a few seconds later, with dumbfounded look): Ooooooh! Is that our President? Then who is that? (pointing to the photo of Bush Sr)
Chef (grabbing head in agony): Owww!
Lulu's Restaurant
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Ben
Woman over intercom: Attention, there is an emergency in the ladies' room. There are no more paper towels.
(customers in super long line snicker)
Man on intercom (a minute or two later): Attention Mr. Dewey, we have an emergency in the office. Nobody can understand your decimal system.
Trader Joe's
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Hungry
Older lady customer: Are you Chris?
Manager guy: No, I'm Mike.
Older lady customer: Are you Carl?
Manager guy: No, I'm still Mike.
Perkins Restaurant
Westfall, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Veronica @ http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Girl cashier #1: So Tom*, how's your love life?
Tom*: My love life's in neutral right now.
Girl cashier #2: Mine's in reverse.
Tom*: That was too funny.
Clinton Crossings, Connecticut
Hallmark salesgirl: My stomach really hurts.
Queer: Does your face hurt too?
Hallmark salesgirl (long pause): Oh my god, gross!
McLean, Virginia
