Oh, You're Just Still Pissed That I Stole Your Lucky Charms.

Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on September 22, 2010
Animals, England, Etiquette, Hobos, Insults, Panhandling, Strangers, Threats, Weirdness

…Let Us Pray

20-something nasty-looking girl in pub, scratching furiously down trousers: Jesus, my clunge itches!

Leamington Spa
England

Posted on August 28, 2010
Bars & Clubs, England, Feelings, Girls, Vagina, Weirdness

Who Invited Her?

Drunk guy #1: So what you're saying is, we rip the spine out of a dog?
Drunk guy #2: Yeah, but then you put a robotic spine in. You could get a remote-controlled dog.
Drunk guy #1: Shit, we could control its bark function.
Drunk girl: And make it ski.

Leamington Spa
England

Posted on August 9, 2010
Animals, Body parts, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, England, Health & Hygiene, Stupidity

…With a Three-Valium Chaser?

Posh-sounding, punk-looking 20-year-old girl on cell: You want to kill yourself? Oh. Have you tried having a having cup of tea?

London
England

Overheard by: Richard

Posted on July 16, 2010
Advice, England, Food, On the phone, Punks, Violence, Wishes

Nature: 3 Nurture: 0

Five-year-old boy, watching news about Priscilla Queen of the Desert on tv: Those ladies look very strange.
Dad: They're actually men dressed as ladies, Edward.
Five-year-old boy: I'm going to dress like that when I'm a man!

London
England

Overheard by: Murray

Posted on July 10, 2010
Clothes, Clothing, Dads, England, Kids, Parenting, Sexuality, TV shows

Ten Bucks Says He Still Tries to Sleep with Her

Serious gentleman: The historical figure from recent history that I most respect? I'd have to say… Gandhi.
Cute young woman: Gandhi? I think I've seen some of his work…

Dinner Party
London
England

Posted on June 25, 2010
Compare and contrast, England, Guys, History, Stupidity, Women

Your Editors Can Only Hope That Means Something Different in England

Mother: So where are we going now?
Young son: Poon! Wooo!

Newcastle
England

Overheard by: Cate

Posted on June 23, 2010
England, Family, Moms, Questions, Vagina

…Like Hitler Did

20-something boy: I think I am dropping out of college?
20-something girl: So? What are you going to do then?
20-something boy: Become an artist.
20-something girl: And do what?
20-something boy: Paint some shit and get paid for that.

Camden Market
London
England

Posted on April 27, 2010
England, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Wishes

Says She Needs the Practice

Elderly woman to friends: Oh, she's lovely, she even offered to sleep in the coffin!

Cambridge
England

Posted on April 17, 2010
Death & dying, England, Offers and requests, Weirdness, Women

The Police Will Ask Questions You Don't Want to Answer

Mother to daughter: Just remember, honey, next time you borrow my dildo, don't get blood on it.

Leeds
England

Posted on March 16, 2010
England, Family ties, Masturbation, Moms, Parenting, Toys