Feelings

College guy fighting with his girlfriend: What? Do you want me to tell you that my ex-girlfriend treated me like a Greek god? 'cause she did.
(girlfriend storms up the street)
College guy: Wait, uh, come back!

Burlington, Vermont

Crazy guy at bus stop to young woman passing: Hey, girl, what's going on?
(girl passes without saying anything) Yeah, that's my girl right there!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Emily

Woman screaming into phone: You need to chill the fuck out!

San Francisco, California

Undergrad, explaining why he can't answer a question: I'm just tired today. I'm sorry.
Very old professor, non-native English speaker: You are tired?
Student: Yes, I'm sick.
Very old professor: What disease do you have?
Student: I…uh, it's just a cold.
Very old professor: Yes, a cold is not considered disease. You are healthy. You are alive!

Classroom, University of Colorado
Boulder, Colorado

Girl #1: How come I always feel drunk whenever you're drunk?
Girl #2: I don't know.
Girl #1: I think we're drunk cycling together!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Exasperated-sounding woman to small child: If you're not gonna cry properly, then don't cry at all.

http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2006/07/quotebook-2006/

Overheard by: Raptor

Girl to friend: I know, it'll be so uncomfortable I can't wait! Though if someone licks me this time I'm not gonna be okay with it.

Red Deer
Canadia

Overheard by: Intrigued

Female student: I feel like I have a really tough skin, because I was always teased by my dad from the moment I was born.
Male student (in very serious, philosophical tone): Scorn was your breast milk.

University of Southern California

Overheard by: Got milk?

Paralytically drunk trainee Russian orthodox priest, lying on pool table, smoking a joint: Fuck! I've got to get to church in two hours…

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Girl #1: Does she need a green card?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: So he just loves her?

Los Angeles, California