No Sword Fights in the Library, Dude

Computer nerd on laptop: See that walking cucumber over there? (pause) Yeah, well, I have a magic sword!

Dartmouth College Library
New Hampshire

Overheard by: Madeleine

Posted on July 8, 2018
Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Food, Magic, New Hampshire, Sensory experiences, Weirdness

Eating Dirt Is Also Off-Limits

Girl #1, talking about Lasik surgery: Well, they either cut your eye completely with a laser, or they do part of it surgically.
Girl #2: No! No! Stop. I can't talk about eyes. Don't talk about eyes, especially when I'm eating.
Guy: This is just like with my friend, Marise. We can't talk about killing people because she's from Haiti.

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Molly

Posted on July 6, 2018
Body parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Geography, Girls, Guys, Violence, Virginia

I Was Hoping for at Least Some Vomit

Depressed man to friends, while eating corn-on-the-cob: You know, this is just upsetting. I spent $180 today, and all I'll have to show for it is a really large shit.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/379925863/that-can-be-pretty-satisfying.html

Overheard by: suddenly a little less hungry

Posted on June 9, 2018
Feelings, Food, Guys, Overheard in Minneapolis

How Many National Secrets Are Spilled

Little girl to mom: This ice cream is screwing with my mind.

McDonald’s
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: heather

Posted on June 8, 2018
Default, Fears, Food, Girls, Headaches, Kids, Mental illnesses, Ohio, Restaurants

It’s in My Sippy Cup Right Now

Second grade teacher: Okay, so if you are what you eat, what food would you be?
Student #1: Cake!
Student #2: Candy!
Student #3: Beer!
Second grade teacher: No, you can’t choose that. It’s illegal for you to drink beer.
Student #3: But I drink it all the time!

St. Catharine’s
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on June 4, 2018
Canadia, Comebacks, Crimes, Default, Food, Kids, Questions, Students, Teachers

…In a Non-Sexual Way?

Behavioral therapist, in very serious voice, to child with autism about animal crackers: Jason, put the elephant in your mouth!
Child's mother, laughing: How often do you honestly get to say that?

St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: aba therapist

Posted on April 23, 2018
Animals, Canadia, Disabled, Food, Kids, Medical personnel, Mental illnesses, Moms, Questions

Bet She’s Barrels of Fun in Bed

Girl #1: Come on! Let’s go!
Girl #2, drinking her milkshake: Could you just be quiet for a minute? I’m kinda in the middle of an orgasm!

Fast food joint
Fairfax, California

Overheard by: slovett

Posted on April 7, 2018
California, Chicks, Food, Orgasm

Mom's Been Running That Con on Dad for Years

Little girl, leaving church: We have to go to bed!
Mom: No, we're going home, and then we're going to eat dinner.
Little girl: And *then* we'll go to bed?
Mom: If you're good.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Hazzenkockle