20-ish woman: He wears cut-offs that are cut so high that you can see the pockets and his boxers poking out, and he has plumber’s crack.
Teen chick: Oh my god… And your mom actually likes this guy?
20-ish woman: No, no, no — this is my real dad.
Mountain View-bound Light Rail
Campbell, California
Overheard by: Cracker
White kid #1: Yo, you think he gay?
Black kid: No, I think you gay.
White kid #2: Yo, how did you know?
White kid #1: I blew him, you idiot.
White kid #2: Did he really?
Black kid: I guess you could call it head.
White kid #2: Where was I when that shit went down?
Black kid: I don’t know, but you woulda done a better job.
Inner Harbor
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Girl #1: Do you think anyone’s like… Actually a good person?
[long pause]Girl #2: Ugh, my stomach really hurts today.
Drew University
Madison, New Jersey
Newbie guy on airplane: What's this?
Female friend: For your entertainment.
Newbie guy: Ooooh! Barf bag!
Washington International Airport
Baltimore, Maryland
Hot girl: You know why I don’t come here? Just so you can have an idea, last time I came here I lost my virginity!
Queer: Oh my god! That long ago? With who? In the bathroom?!
Hot girl: With some guy, randomly… We went to his friend’s apartment, and it was awful because I have this problem that… Okay, many, many people are listening in to our conversation… I think I want to change the subject. When did you dye your hair like that?
Milo’s Garage
São Paulo
Brazil
Teenage girl to friend: I feel like if you eat my hair, we'll be more connected.
Fair Haven, New Jersey
Girl to friend: I ooze talent, like a pimple oozes pus.
Corvallis, Oregon
Hot chick: I’m having a fantasia party; I made it a facebook event: Are you going to come?
Clueless girl: Whats a fantasia party?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks only, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clueless girl: I don’t get it?
Hot chick: What’s there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clueless girl: I still don’t get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tupperware party -only with dildos!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Make Mine 9 Inches!
College sorostitute: Well, I thought we'd been dating for, like, 3 months. But then I looked at his Facebook profile, and it said “single.”
Non-slutty college friend: You had to use Facebook to…
College sorostitute: Also, did you know he had a kid?
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Nuddles
Haughty woman: Oh yeah, he’s getting a divorce.
Friend: Why?
Haughty woman: She stalks him ever since he left. She followed him into Walgreens and tried to beat him down with a toilet scrubber!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: I would want a divorce too…
