Bottom Line: It Tastes Like Shit.

Guy: You!
Smoking, unsuspecting girl: Me? What'd I do?
Guy: Do you know how lonely it's been since you and Dave* quit smoking? Then everyone started to quit! And now you're smoking again?! At first it was all cute: “Awwww, Emily and Dave* are quitting together! They're like each other's rocks!” Then what happened?!
Smoking girl, sheepishly: We sunk.
Guy: And was it your idea for Dave to start rolling his own cigarettes?!
Smoking girl: Yes…
Guy, exasperated: Every time I ask him for a cigarette, it's like smoking a diaper!

New Jersey

Posted on October 13, 2009
Compare and contrast, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Questions, Relationships, Smokers, Smoking

Your Editors Feel a Fierce College Nostalgia Coming on

Girl to girl and guy: Guys, can I just tell you about my weekend?
(no reply)
Girl again: Can I tell ya'll about my weekend?
(they look at her and nod)
Girl again, whispering: It had to do with a penis…

UNCC Campus
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on October 11, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Comebacks, Girls, Guys, North Carolina, Penis, Questions

Get Thee to a Nunnery!

Strange man to lightly-dressed girls sitting on bench: Thank you! Have a good night!
(leaves)
Girl to friend: Oh my god. He licked your hand. Ohmigod! He. Licked. Your. Hand!

Montreal
Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: And it tasted like humus.

Posted on October 10, 2009
Canadia, Friends, Girls, Hands, Licking, Strangers, Weirdness

…Under “Skills”.

Blonde: I have this theory that babies who were born late are like always late to stuff. And babies who were born early, like premature, are always early.
Friend: Really?
Blonde: Yeah, it's like, on my resume.

Brisbane
Australia

Posted on October 9, 2009
Australia, Compare and contrast, Friends, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Pregnancy, Science

Or Clean Up the Blood Again

Girl #1: So my mom is getting married to that guy she met on the internet.
Girl #2: Internet? He might be a serial killer!
Girl #1: Yeah, but she lives in Florida, so at least I don't have to hear about it.

Bathrooms
Cinema, Illinois

Posted on October 8, 2009
Family ties, Girls, Illinois, Internet, Murder, Parenting, Relationships, Restroom

Stop Eating Those Cheetos!

Girl in puffy pink coat: I went to Jared's yesterday and I was all like, “you're a jerk.” Know what I mean?
Girl in puffy white coat: I dunno. My nails are orange.

Illinois institute

Overheard by: abbie

Posted on October 7, 2009
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Girls, Illinois, Insults, Stupidity

…You and I Are, Like, Soulmates!

Dopey girl #1: Have you seen the movie Sweet Sixteen? I mean, Sixteen Candles?
Dopey girl #2: Yeah!
Dopey girl #1: Yeah! Oh my god!

High School
La Jolla, California

Overheard by: God

Posted on October 7, 2009
California, Girls, Idiots, Movies, Names, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity

Or Jail, Yeah

Teenage girl #1: Anyway, I just need to talk to him.
Teenage girl #2: Mmm-hmm.
Teenage girl #1: But I barely ever see him!
Teenage girl #2: Yeah.
Teenage girl #1: I have to meet him in a mutual place, y'know?
Teenage girl #2: …like a box?

Perth
Australia

Posted on October 6, 2009
Australia, Girls, Questions, Relationships, Teens, Weirdness

What's More Natural Than Fondling a Relative's Artificial Breast?

Daughter in dressing room: Go ahead, feel them!
Mom in dressing room: No!
Daughter: Really, the point is to feel how natural they feel! I'm going to want to feel yours when you get them.

York, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kendal

Posted on October 5, 2009
Family ties, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Moms, Parenting, Pennsylvania, Rack, Wishes

Like “Dragon” or “Compassionate Conservative”

20-something American guy: Hermaphrodites are real?
20-something American girl: Well, what did you think they were?
20-something American guy: I thought they were a made-up word, like “unicorn” or something.

Bar
Munich
Germany

Posted on October 4, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Foreigners, Germany, Girls, Guys, Questions, Sexuality, Stupidity, Words

Girls