Girls

Guy on porch to girl with big boobs in low-cut top: I love me some triple Ds!
Girl with big boobs in low-cut top: Good call!

Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey

Sorority girl #1: Oh my god! I am like, not okay. I am not okay.
Sorority girl #2: Oh my god, are you okay?
Sorority girl #1: Yeah, I'm okay. But do you see me? I am not okay!

Bathroom, Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: just trying to pee

Girl to friend: They have vaginas in here!

Applebee's
Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: Sarah

Teen girl to friend: Oh! I finally figured out whose pants I'm wearing.

Brantford
Ontario
Canadia

Chick on cell: Did I tell you I sent my dominatrix pilot to my father and he writes back, “so how did you do the research? It's all very accurate.”

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Amerigo Vespucci

Hot black chick: I don't know why you're so surprised… It's the same way I'd nail Lucy Liu and alt-world Neil Patrick Harris.
Nerdy friend: Alt-world Neil Patrick Harris?
Hot black chick: You know, where he's straight and really into black chicks.
Nerdy friend: Baffling.

New Haven, Connecticut

Girl walking with two friends: God, you guys suck so bad! But, whatever…it means four whole penises for me. Yay!

Livermore, California

Girl to group of friends: And then he lifted up his skirt to reveal a fake vagina!

Comic Con
San Diego, California

Stripper, yelling at boyfriend: You don't have to shave your vagina everyday to get tips from bald, fifty-year-old men!

Lincoln, Nebraska

Overheard by: late night studier

Blond on cell: She doesn't call us in six months and when she does, the first call is to tell us that her boyfriend is dead on some motel floor, and the second call is that her mom is dead on the sofa!

Houston, Texas