Girls

White dude with blond afro: You can't get mouth cancer from cigars.
Articulate college chick: Yeah, Sigmund Freud got mouth cancer from cigars.
White dude with blond afro: You want to know what else happened to him? He got bit by a tiger!

Monson, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Girl: Hey, how about this one? Have you heard the one about the ceiling?
Blonde: Um, no.
Girl: Oh, well never mind, it's *way* too over your head.
Blonde: No, tell me! I'm not that dumb!
Girl (shaking head): Never mind, you don't get it. Hmmm, what about the one about the postcard with no stamp? Oh, never mind, you wouldn't ever get it.
Blonde: Really, I think I could. Tell me, let me try!

Spring Grove, Pennsylvania

Girl to friends, walking through produce section: I have never felt so threatened by produce in all my life.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/407666795/how-do-you-think-the-banana-feels.html

Overheard by: laurel.

Cute chick in line: Oh! I want Haribo gummi bears! I need a snack to study effectively. There are lots of things I don't do effectively without snacking.
Boyfriend: Maybe you should try snacking next time we have sex. You know, maybe a little popcorn…a candy bar…
Cute chick: Are you saying my sex isn't effective? Well, maybe there won't be a next time.
Boyfriend: You know, you're not responding very well to constructive criticism. The solution is to keep trying, not to give up.

CVS
University City, Philadelphia

Overheard by: justtryingtowaitinline

No Wonder King Cole Isn't a Merry Old Soul Anymore

Preppy college girl to friend: She was the girl who would go down on him while lighting his bowl. She was the perfect girl for him. It's too bad she went crazy, they would have been so happy together!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/411972898/yeah-she-sounds-irreplaceable.html

Overheard by: burrhead.

Little girl: I don't want ice cream, daddy. Know why, daddy? (in a demonic voice) Because it's evil!

Grinnell, Iowa

Overheard by: Jake

Pretty teenage girl #1: Why do all the geeks like me?
Pretty teenage girl #2: Why do all the alcoholic German boarders like me?

Boca Raton Mall
Florida

Girl on train helping her friend study: Think of a baby crawling back into the vagina and popping out again. That's the renaissance.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Sitting in front of them for an hour on the train

Ghetto black chick: People in Europe don't eat nachos.

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: D-One

Strange, awkward tall guy, putting down a math magazine: I noticed that you didn't finish your pretzel cheese.
Girl across the table doing homework (mystified): No, I guess I didn't.
Strange, awkward tall guy: I was going to ask for it, but then I realized I don't have anything to dip in it.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Overheard by: It was a small pretzel