Undergrad on cell: And the paper has to be, like, 10 to 12 pages long! (pause) I know! I'm like, “I'm not writing my freaking thesis here!”
Bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Undergrad on cell: And the paper has to be, like, 10 to 12 pages long! (pause) I know! I'm like, “I'm not writing my freaking thesis here!”
Bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Girlfriend: You still have Jack Daniels in my fridge! All nice and frozen. Well, it's not frozen because alcohol has a high freezing point, but it's been in there for months so it's as “frozen” as it's gonna get, well, not really because…
Stressed-out boyfriend: Woman! Too many words in that sentence!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Tween girl #1: I have to tell you something — I don’t think Rachel is that hot.
Tween girl #2: Oh my god, I’m so glad you said that, ’cause I’m afraid to talk to people about her because everyone thinks she is so pretty.
Tween girl #1: They were doing this rating thing where they rate people on a scale, and Ryan gave her a seven.
Tween girl #2: She is totally not a seven — her boobs are inverted.
Premier Oaks Movie Theater
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: *shakes head*
Male student: So, how’s your new roommate?
Female student: Well, she has one hundred thirty-three thongs.
Male student: She sounds like a horrible person.
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Mom: Arrrrgh. My brain just isn’t working today!
Eight-year-old (deadpan): Did you try turning it off and on again?
Steveston
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing sangria out my nose
Biotech: Wow. That girl wears clothes like she’s not fat, and that’s funny.
California
Overheard by: dev
Four-year old: But I want to go in there!
Frazzled mother: No! Let's go, we have to get home.
Four-year old (crying): You aren't the right mother for me!
Berlin
Germany
Hipster girl: Why won’t you take my last name when we get married? It would be really progressive of you…
Hipster guy: No, it wouldn’t! It would be emasculating!
Hipster girl: Emasculating? Like how?
Hipster guy: Like me wearing a dress…
Hipster girl: But you already do that!
IKEA
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She hasn’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five seconds out of your day to see how I’m doing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.
Barnes & Noble
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Hobo
Guy lying on girl’s stomach: Your bellybutton is probably the worst thing I’ve smelled this week.
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: what about last week?
