Library worker #1: Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: … What?
Library worker #1: The envelope. Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: You could tape it, I guess…
Library worker #1: Great, because after last night, I am totally out of saliva.
Main Library, Kent State University
Kent, Ohio
Property professor: They’re only on the land about 25 days a year, and they get full possession? ‘What the fuck?!’ as they say!
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: sa
Gym bunny: Man, I feel like a beached whale! Mooo!
Gym, Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia
Drunken girl: I don't know, Luke, I'm just sick and tired of people who want to sit in their rooms and watch YouTube videos and eat sherbert.
Drunken guy: You don't like sherbert?
Drunken girl: No, I like it… but only with adventure.
Drunken guy: I wanted adventure. I feel kind of bad, though, that I didn't experiment enough.
Drunken girl: With what?
Drunken guy: With guys. I don't know, it just hasn't happened.
Drunken girl: Well, don't rush it. If you let it happen naturally, it will.
Drunken guy: But what if I don't like it? And say, “No, this isn't for me”?
Drunken girl: Let's go eat something.
Drunken guy: Sherbert?
Drunken girl: Yep.
Claremont, California
Dish hand: Did you fuck it all up again, chef?
Chef: Sure did.
Dish hand: You do this every fucking shift.
Chef: Yeah, but my wife’s hot.
Dish hand: That is not a valid defense!
Adelaide
Australia
Girl, frantically looking through fridge: Shit, I’m gonna be late for work… What the hell? Why is your rice in my freezer?
Boyfriend: Because then it will be happy and prosperous.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nic
Mom holding two tomatoes stuck together: Look, tomato twins!
Daughter: Oh my god! I love them!
Mom: They look like balls! [Laughs] Boy balls! [Walks away].
Daughter: Oh my god.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Worried suit: That’s why we get our chairs cleaned more than any other department. We get our chairs cleaned every three months. Why doesn’t anyone put a stop to this?
Metro Bus
Seattle, Washington
Skinny boy at the back of the classroom: I had a Pop-Tart for breakfast!
Teacher, horrified: Why? Oh my god, why?!
Middle School
North Carolina
Teenybopper #1: Oooh, look at the nail polish I just got!
Teenybopper #2: I never use Sally Hansen nail polish anymore, because they test on animals.
Teenybopper #1: Really? What does that even mean?
Teenybopper #2: I don’t know. Something about pigs, I think…
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: EL
