College jock: Girls suck. I would so be your gay lover if it weren’t for the whole butt-sex thing.
Scrawny friend: Me too, man.
Davis, California
College jock: Girls suck. I would so be your gay lover if it weren’t for the whole butt-sex thing.
Scrawny friend: Me too, man.
Davis, California
Saxophone-playing dude: [About Huck Finn] You really think some ten-year-old white boy is gonna be running around with a crazy black man like “Woo hoo! Everything’s cool!”? No way, man, they woulda ate him!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
30-something druggie girl: I know my dad's looking down at me, helping me and shit. That's how I got my handbag back.
30-something druggie guy: Yeah? For fuckin serious?
30-something druggie girl: Yeah! I feel like he's telling me shit sometimes. Sometimes I reckon he wants me to stop taking the pills and the smack, but then I'm like, “Nah, that's just the drugs talking.”
Train
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: XPIOTOS
Elevator dude #1: I just think she’s kind of ho-ish.
Elevator dude #2: I’m feeling that, though, because I’m like that myself.
Elevator dude #1: I’m not fucking with her.
Elevator dude #2: But if she was a dude, though, we’d be honoring her.
Elevator dude #1: Yeah, well, I’m not gonna be fucking no dude, either.
332 South Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Ronnie
Teenage boy to girlfriend: You have the advantage, because you can use your boobs to carry things.
Charlestown Square
Newcastle
Australia
Overheard by: Callie
Little boy to mother: Is this where we have to strip?
Security Line
Newark Airport, New Jersey
Guy #1, during pride festival: Why do I have to carry all the condoms!?
Guy #2: Because you have the biggest pockets!
Bellingham, Washington
Girl #1 (pouring a cup of tea): Awww man, it's all the stuff from the bottom.
Girl #2: Oooh! After you drink it, give it to me and I'll read the tea leaves!
Girl #1: (hands the cup to girl #2)
Girl #2 (with a fake British accent): I see a hippogriff!
Guy: I did not just hear that.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Misaki
Guy #1: So are you seeing that girl now or what?
Guy #2: No, man, she has a boyfriend.
Guy #1: But didn't you sleep with her last weekend?
Guy #2: Dude, I slept with you last night. It doesn't mean anything.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Steph
Freshman guy: It's been in my mouth for almost a minute now, and I'm still not sure what it is.
Freshman girl: Scary thought, isn't it?
Dining Hall, Arcadia University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
