Cute girl #1: Hey, I want you to meet one of my best guy friends.
Cute girl #2 to male friend: Hey, nice to meet ya.
Male friend holding lighter, totally ignoring others: I can make fire! (shouting) I'm a goddamn wizard!
Johnson City, Tennessee
Overheard by: kiwi
Crazy guy: Hey, June*! Do you know that my cabinets keep opening and closing by themselves?
June*: Well, do you believe in ghosts?
Crazy guy: Yes, I do!
June*: Maybe your place is haunted, and the ghosts just want to say hello.
Crazy guy, after thinking a while: No, I think it's just my schizophrenia.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Young Spanish guy: So yeah, I met up with my ex Becky last night, we ended up having sex behind the pharmacy.
Young white guy: I asked you to come hang out yesterday but you said you had your grandpa's funeral!
Young Spanish guy: I did have the funeral, but that was in the morning.
Young white guy: So you had time to fuck Becky behind the pharmacy but no time to hang out with me? Besides, you said you were close to your grandpa. Shouldn't you have been mourning?
Young Spanish guy: So… does this mean I don't get a high five?
Young white guy: *grudgingly high fives*.
Movie Theatre, Ottawa
Canada
Overheard by: Ash
Dude: That guy totally has a gun.
Chick (offended): Just because he has sunglasses doesn't mean he has a gun!
High School
Englewood, Colorado
College guy: You know when you throw the egg at the pink dinosaur? You know that sound? That's what her accent sounds like.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Guy to ex-wife (about drunkenness): Yeah, the best time was at that wedding when you started drinking down those cinnamon things, and flashed that guy.
Oakland, Oregon
Overheard by: Erin
Guy going up escalator to friend: Did you see that? That guy just tried to touch my butt.
Friend: Don't complain, he succeeded in touching mine!
Washington, DC
Cop, helping hobo into jacket inside store: You are not drunk enough to be acting like this. People are going to think you are just mean.
Hobo: I *am* mean!
Sugarhood Smiths
Sugarhood, Utah
Guy: You abandoned me last night! Both of you, you and James*!
Girl: I'm sorry, I was feeling sick. And I told James* to go back to the bar afterwards, but then, you know, I have a vagina…
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
