Dart player #1: You're kicking ass because you can aim with your lazy eye.
Dart player #2: No, I'm not using my lazy eye.
Dart player #1: Well, it's still not fair.
Riprock's
Denton, Texas
Overheard by: still glad i don't have a lazy eye
Dart player #1: You're kicking ass because you can aim with your lazy eye.
Dart player #2: No, I'm not using my lazy eye.
Dart player #1: Well, it's still not fair.
Riprock's
Denton, Texas
Overheard by: still glad i don't have a lazy eye
Guy: Have you ever seen me suck the tip of my penis?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Guy #1: I know how to get your kid back, easy! I'll just put a bag of crack in your mom's car and call the cops and say “there is this old lady with a bag of crack and a baby in her car!” (laughs)
Guy #2: That would be so cool.
Bus Stop
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Girl: Dang, it's raining!
Boy: Do you have an umbrella?
Girl: Yeah. I hate umbrellas.
Boy, surprisingly vehemently: Suck it up!
Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York
Man, taking seat in airport lounge: Wow, this is the first time I've worn pants since…
Woman with him: Since the last time we flew. Feels weird, doesn't it?
Airport Lounge
North Carolina
Guy #1: She totally wanted to hook up with me, and kept dropping hints to get her roommate to leave.
Guy #2: Like what kind of hints?
Guy #1: Like “Yeah, I’m really tired, I just want to go to sleep.” But her roommate would not leave the room.
Dorm Room
UCSB, California
Girl: What about her? She’s cute.
Guy: Yeah… but her boobs are small.
Girl: What’s wrong with small boobs anyway?
Guy: They’re… not… big.
Restaurant, Oregon
Guy: We're talking heroic amounts of porn.
Girl, laughing hysterically: Oh my god, what?
Guy: What?
Girl: How is “heroic” a unit of measurement?
Guy: No. I mean: if you met the guy, he'd be your hero.
Girl, still laughing, walking away: I can't.
Connecticut
Overheard by: LunaFish
Guy: … So I was like, ‘Dude, just this time, you’re not allowed to suck your own dick,’ and he says,’Dude, I totally won’t.’ So I say to him, ‘Man, you’re doing it right now.’
University of British Columbia
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
20-something guy: Dude, I have been waiting four to five years for this boner.
Medford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Neme
