Guys

Man: She was that lesbian — the one who wanted to have a three-way and told me I could watch.

Three Allen Center
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: B_tay

Girl #1: I wonder if vegans get on the metro and, like, can't sit down because the seats are leather.
Guy: No, this is pleather.
Girl #2: If it were leather it would smell like it.
Guy: No, that's only clean leather.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Vegan sitting on the Metro

Male student: I like your Skittles.
Female student: Don't look at them!

Eveleth, Minnesota

Overheard by: deathmap

Guido to skinny guy on métro: So you weren't really grabbing her boobs. That's just following instructions. (pause) You were just being a team player, man.

Vendôme Métro
Montréal
Canadia

Girl: Do you want me to kick you in the balls?
Guy: What?
Girl: Cause then you'd be all like, “Now I can't reproduce. What's the point anymore?”

Weir House
Wellington
New Zealand

Tall skinny guy: Did you know that three out of every four deaths on roller coasters are girls? It's because they're so small and aerodynamic.

Six Flags
Valencia, California

Girl in debate to two guys at her table: But that doesn't make it gay. You're still having heterosexual sex, but you're just doing it next to yourself.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/376581637/theres-a-different-word-for-that.html

Overheard by: true

35-year-old man: Do you know what I did for you? I left my home, my wife. I cheated because I was cheated on, I know what that's like. You're turning 30, you need a man, what's a woman at 30? You're alone!
28-year-old woman: You're having a midlife crisis. Women don't get those. I'm there for you, like, “you should stop at three drinks because you're a terrible drunk.”
35-year-old man: You'd do that for me?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Matt

Guy in jumper: What do hermit crabs actually do?

Pet Shop
Australia

Overheard by: Stunned

Guy, walking into Planned Parenthood: Hey, I just locked my keys in my car that's just around the corner. Can I borrow a coat hanger?
Girl working front desk: Uh, do you know where you are?
Guy: No.
Girl working front desk: Well, we keep 'em in the back!

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Morgan Roddy