Ten Bucks Says She's Fucking Other Guys on It.

Shaven-headed guy #1, while pissing: So she says to me, “can you take out the rubbish?” I said no. Then she asked me, “can you change the cat litter?” I said no. Then she asked me, “can you fix the back door..?”
Shaven-headed guy #2, while pissing: And you said no?
Shaven-headed guy #1: Yeah. Anyway, so for Valentine's Day she gets me a ping pong table. I didn't get her anything. And now I won't let her use the ping pong table.
Shaven-headed guy #2: You're the fucking man, mate!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on October 24, 2019
England, Gifts, Guys, Offers and requests, Relationships

And Watched the Baby Play with a Plastic Bag

Office building tenant: Oh, and I just wanted to let you know there was a fire in the dumpster last week. I looked for the security guard in the building, but couldn't find him. I didn't know who else to notify, so I just went home.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/420134135/thats-the-documented-procedure.html

Overheard by: how about 911?

Posted on October 22, 2019
Character, Guys, Overheard in Minneapolis, Philosophy, Stupidity

Why Lightbulb-Shaped Buttplugs Exist.

Punk girl: A lamp?
Punk guy: While it was still on.
Punk girl: Didn't that like…burn the colon?
Punk guy: Apparently it wasn't on at first. Someone decided to plug it in as a joke.
Punk girl, giggling: Oh my god…what happened with that?
Punk guy: I don't know–all I know is that it involved the hospital.

California

Posted on October 21, 2019
Ass, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Punks, Questions, Weirdness

Almost As Great As “O Hanukah” on Kazoo

Guy on cell: Have you ever heard “Dreidel, dreidel ” played on guitar? It's fucking awesome!

University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware

Posted on October 19, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Delaware, Guys, Music, On the phone, Questions, Sensory experiences

Mr. Bradshaw Sometimes Needs Help with the Basics

Loud guy on cell: Terry! Terry! Listen to me! Use that shampoo! And the conditioner! Get your hair the same way it was last week! (pause) Okay, see you there. Bye.

Oxford Street
London
England

Posted on October 16, 2019
Advice, Bathing, Cleanliness, England, Guys, Hair, On the phone

I Felt Awash in a Sea of Lower-Back Tattoos

Teen boy: Disneyland is the MILF capital of the world!

Vacaville, California

Posted on October 14, 2019
California, Compliments, Default, Geography, Guys, Sex, Teens

Tonight's Movie: Grumpy Old Gonorrhea

Wannabe cowboy on cell: Dude, I gotta tell you about my STD from the silent film era! (long pause) Okay, ready? Okay: I made out with a chick who was 52 years old!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/363455312/chick.html

Overheard by: hope she had a charlie chaplin mustache

Posted on October 6, 2019
Age and ageing, Guys, On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis, Sexuality, STDs

…of Stuff That Never Happened

Bro #1: Dude, now that you're here…
Bro #2: We can start making some fucking memories!

Michigan State University

Posted on October 5, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Guys, Memory lane, Michigan, Weirdness, Words

How Many Things Are Wrong With This Quote? Show Your Work.

Guy: Ohmigod, you don't look Jewish, I wouldn't have known if you didn't tell me.
Girl: Awww, thanks!
Guy: So what are you doing for the holidays?
Girl: Christmas isn't about Jesus…

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Bernadette

Posted on October 4, 2019
Christianity, Girls, Guys, Holidays, Jesus, Questions, Washington, DC

…After Faking Your Orgasm

Guy with cigarette: I have to go home to my girlfriend.
Friend: Just fuck her for ten minutes and then meet me in the bar.

Munich
Germany

Overheard by: How romantic…

Posted on September 20, 2019
Germany, Guys, Sex, Time Management