Teen gay guy: Hey, do you ever color your nipples?
Teen girl: Huh?
Teen gay guy: When you get bored you, don't take a Sharpie and color your nipples? (pulls up shirt and points) See, this one's pink and this one's blue.
Teen girl: Um…no, I don't.
Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Guy #1: So, ‘viticulture’ — that’s Latin, right?
Guy #2: Well, Latin is a dead language, so it doesn’t count.
Guy #3: You’re a dead language.
Guy #4: Your mother’s a whore.
Culinary Institute of America
Hyde Park, New York
Overheard by: just a student
Dude #1: So then I was like, “take that back, you bitch!”
Dude #2: Whoa man, then what happened?
Dude #1: She bent over, and then it hit her that I wasn't trying to bone her doggy style. I dumped her two minutes later.
Dude #2: Haha, yeah! That's my sister for you!
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Stephanie C.
Dude to chick: Let’s just go to a bar, sit down, drink some scotch, and be apathetic.
Inman Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Customer: My therapist wants me to start thinking of men as friends. Seriously though, if you can’t fuck’em, what’s the point?
Espresso Drive Thru
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: The Barista Who Loves Her Job
Guy on cell: Have you ever heard of swinging? (pause) Bestiality?
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Us
Man: … And then he shot a hooker in the face with a crossbow!
Cloak and Dagger Pub
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Obscenely tall man: I’m sorry. This is really random, but I was just drinking a milkshake. And… I think I spilled some on my head. Can you check it out for me?
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
University kid: It's like a kegger, but with shit.
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The zoe
Guy describing girlfriend to friends: The best thing about her is that there's nothing extraordinary about her at all. (pauses) Yep, the thing I like the most about her is there's absolutely nothing special about her.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: whibs
