Guy sitting on bench: So can I borrow your crack pipe tomorrow?
Girl sitting next to him: No, it's dirty, remember? I still need to wash it out.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Travis
Guy sitting on bench: So can I borrow your crack pipe tomorrow?
Girl sitting next to him: No, it's dirty, remember? I still need to wash it out.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Travis
Girl to friends: Mine is, like, nubby!
Friend: You should probably get that checked out…
Culver, Indiana
Hoochie on cell: Yep, I have herpes. Isn’t it awesome?!
University of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois
Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.
UC
Berkeley, California
Woman: I imagine that finding out you have a tumor is very much like finding out you're pregnant.
Los Angeles, California
Manly guy to male friend carrying fake baby for parenting class: So, did Beth* get her period yet?
Wichita, Kansas
Dude: And then we had to carry Elizabeth *three blocks* back to my place because she was too wide to fit in the car.
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Woman to friends: Who would have know that shaving my pubes wouldn't get rid of pubic lice?
Chipotle
Towson, Maryland
Mom to little boy picking up Raid: No poisonous chemicals for you, sweetie. Not today, at least…
Target
New Jersey
Frustrated waitress: There’s not enough Scotchguard in the world to help those sex cushions!
Rudyard’s
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Hales
