Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.
UC
Berkeley, California
Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.
UC
Berkeley, California
Woman: I imagine that finding out you have a tumor is very much like finding out you're pregnant.
Los Angeles, California
Manly guy to male friend carrying fake baby for parenting class: So, did Beth* get her period yet?
Wichita, Kansas
Dude: And then we had to carry Elizabeth *three blocks* back to my place because she was too wide to fit in the car.
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Woman to friends: Who would have know that shaving my pubes wouldn't get rid of pubic lice?
Chipotle
Towson, Maryland
Mom to little boy picking up Raid: No poisonous chemicals for you, sweetie. Not today, at least…
Target
New Jersey
Frustrated waitress: There’s not enough Scotchguard in the world to help those sex cushions!
Rudyard’s
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Hales
Guy, weighing himself: 176. Hmm, hold on a minute, I gotta go shit.
Guy at desk: Alright.
(5 minutes later)
Guy, weighing himself: 170. Goddamn.
Centre College
Danville, Kentucky
Girl #1, throwing home pregnancy test into friend's basket: Here, I think you need this.
Girl #2, throwing box of condoms into friend's basket: Not as much as you need these, you slut.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Erica
Stressed friend: Hurry up!
Stoner: Wait, I just need to brush my teeth.
Stressed friend: Brush your teeth?! You’re going to see your mom and then your dealer! You do not need to brush your teeth!
Stockholm
Sweden
Overheard by: magnus
