Plumber, rubbing his fingers together: Hmmm. No, no, it’s not water. It’s something much, much worse.
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Plumber, rubbing his fingers together: Hmmm. No, no, it’s not water. It’s something much, much worse.
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Black girl #1: He made me a BLT with avocado.
Black girl #2: And then he passed out?
Black girl #1: No. First, I told him to bang me like a screen door in a hurricane, then he passed out.
Black girl #2: You're always stressing out that skinny white boy.
Black girl #1: Haha, yeah. I should marry him.
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Crackhead lady: I was raised on McDonald’s hamburgers until one day I puked up a fish!
McDonald’s
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Girl #1: I had to go to the dentist, and I spent over a million dollars!
Girl #2: Oh my god, what did you have done?
Girl #3: She had a dick removed from her mouth.
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: Allison
Girl #1: You look like you had a wild weekend!
Girl #2: Yeah, I'm so sore I can barely walk…
Girl #1: So who all was there?
Girl #2: Oh, you know: Dillon, Chad, Mike, my dad, my mom…
University of Virginia
Pudgy guy flailing at younger girl: It’s not cute pudge, it’s a manly beer gut!
Stewartstown, Pennsylvania
Girl to friend: And then he said “do you like diapers with your bangers and mash?”
After Trax
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: I know you're watching
Dentist, about to perform a root canal and three fillings: Wow, you have groovy teeth!
Glen Ellyn, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Yoga instructor to friend: I've always wanted to throw up on a cat.
Berkeley, California
Flamboyantly gay man on cell, sashaying student union: Apparently there was like a three-day no shower policy to attend this Earth Day function! Whatever, I didn't get the memo.
UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Caroline
