Football player #1: What are you getting?
Football player #2: I think I'm gonna get four hot dogs.
Football player #1: Dude! You're only supposed to eat three a week! It's like…the sodium or something. Three hot dogs have all the sodium you're supposed to have in a week.
Football player #2: You're fucking retarded! I'm getting four hot dogs and I'm gonna eat all four of them in their sodium goodness. Watch me.
Dining Hall, Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Colleen
Father, dragging boy for being naughty: I have had enough of this! You're a horrible child!
Son: But I won't do it again, I promise! (cries hysterically)
Father: Yes, you said that 13 times ago, but you still do it! You're a horrible boy, so we're going to disown you.
Son: Nooooo!
Father: Shut up.
Telford
England
Overheard by: nicmunn
American guy #1: Fuck, here I am, sitting on top of some fucking sandmountain in the goddam desert in Chile, god knows how far away from home, to watch some goddam sunset! And I'm not even on my fucking own, or with some hot chick. I'm sitting here with severeal hundred other people. It's such a fucking waste. It's kinda like sitting all alone in the movie theater, and then some dickhead comes and sits down next too you.
American guy #2: Yeah, I did that once!
American guy #1: I hate you. (walks away).
San Pedro de Attacama
Chile
Overheard by: Hege
Drunk man at next table: Butterflies out the arse! And I wouldn't have bet 10 bucks on the sonofabitch!
Sushi Bar
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Sushi Enjoyer
Roid Rager, angrily: Nobody gives me the finger while I'm driving!
Hipster, calmly: Well, you need to slow down. It's a parking lot.
Roid Rager, enraged: You wanna do something about it?
Hipster: No. I'm not gonna fight you in front of Sears.
Rockaway Mall, New Jersey
Overheard by: Joe Bagodonuts
Good Catholic schoolboy to friend who just recited a really long prayer: Good job! You only missed one word. This one can be really hard and you almost got it perfect.
Bad Catholic schoolboy: God dammit! Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna get this bullshit memorized!
Goretti-Neumann High
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: lora
Girl #1: You're retarded.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too.
San Diego, California
Teenage daughter: You just know Chuck Woolery was banging every chick on Love Connection.
Mother: Not in front of the 12-year-olds!
Teenage daughter: I dunno, Chuck Woolery is a pretty sick son of a bitch.
Grocery Store Parking Lot
Littleton, Colorado
Chick: He’s a cool guy! I mean, maybe he’s not a cynic like us…
Dude: Well, then he can just go die.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Slutty teen in very short skirt (yelling): Yo,what time is it?
Drunk passerby : (shows watch on wrist)
Slutty teen (indignantly): Like, I don't do analogue, bitch!
Ottawa
Canadia
