They Grow Up So Fast

3-year-old in parking lot: Mommy, I want MONEY!
Mother: Yes, honey. Me too.

Gilroy, California

Overheard by: just a cart pusher

Posted on May 10, 2019
California, Kids, Moms, Money, Parenting, Should have used a condom, Weirdness, Wishes

As Depicted in All of My Paintings

Mother to daughter: I swear, next time you’re going to smack your mouth on something and I’m just going to move you to the side and leave you there and watch the blood run down.

On Line for Space Mountain
Disney World, Florida

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on May 9, 2019
Florida, Kids, Moms, Mouth, Threats, Tourist attractions, Violence, Weirdness

How You Know It’s Time to Cancel Your Cinemax Subscription

Four-year-old girl skipping down aisle, singing: Penis, penis, tickle, tickle, penis.

Wal-Mart
Carrollton, Texas

Overheard by: Iron Cowgirl

Posted on May 8, 2019
Kids, Texas, Words

This Is What Fun Is, Son.

Little boy: Ewww… what's that smell?
Slightly tipsy dad: Prolly barf.
Little boy: Yuck! You're gross!
Slightly tipsy dad: What? It's a twins game. People come to get drunk, then they barf, and you smell it. That's how it goes.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/270078695/so-come-on-down-to-the-metrodome.html

Overheard by: that's not why I go to twins games.

Posted on May 2, 2019
Dads, Drinking & drunks, Kids, Overheard in Minneapolis, Parenting, Questions, Sensory experiences

Mary Kay Letourneau Always Knew What She Wanted

Kid: Woah, you just blew my mind!
Teacher: That's not all I'll blow.

High School
Pennsylvania

Posted on April 28, 2019
BJs, Education, Kids, Pennsylvania, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sensory experiences, Students, Teachers

Is That Why You Named Me “Ralph”?

Little boy: Mommy, where do babies come from? Your mouth?

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/05/too-many-premium-channels.html

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on April 10, 2019
Kids, Overheard in the Valley, Questions

Why “Family Vacation” Will Always Be an Oxymoron

Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That's the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It'll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)

National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Meaggoo

Posted on April 6, 2019
Death & dying, Default, Fears, Kids, Malls, Murder, Siblings, Teens, Washington, DC, Weirdness

The Same Reason I Snort the Pretty White Dust

(mother pouring sugar in her coffee)
Little boy: Mom, why do you drink dirty water?
Mother: Because of you.

Starbucks
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on March 30, 2019
Default, Illinois, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Restaurants

A Mom Can Dream, Can’t She?

Angry mother on the bus: Come here and sit down!
Four-year-old: No, it’s okay. I’m being good.
Angry mother: This bus is going to stop suddenly and you’re going to fall down and crack your head open on one of the bars, and before the bus gets back around to the hospital you will bleed to death!

Pullman, Washington

Overheard by: jeff

Posted on March 25, 2019
Advice, Bus, Death & dying, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Threats, Violence, Washington, Weirdness

If It's Bobbing for Saviors, Count Me Out.

Sunday school teacher: We're going to play a fun game next! Does anybody want to guess what it is?
Five-year-old student: Take of our shirts and pants?
Sunday school teacher: No!

Sunday School Classroom
Fredericton
Canadia

Overheard by: Andrew

Posted on March 10, 2019
Canadia, Clothes, Default, Games, Kids, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers

Kids