Woman to screaming toddler in her arms: I'm not going to let you down unless you hold my hand. Are you going to hold my hand?
(toddler screams something unintelligible)
Woman: I'm sorry, I don't make the rules. They're the rules of the President of the United States of America.
Outlet Mall
Leesburg, Virginia
Girl #1: Hey, let's go to The Gap, they have short pants there.
Girl #2, pissed off: Shut the fuck up! I hate you.
Mall
Northern New Jersey
Passerby to two women getting off elevator with a double stroller with white and black babies: Uh-oh!
Women: Oh, it's okay. They're just friends.
Elevator, Westchester Mall
White Plains, New York
Mom: I'll shoot you, then you'll shoot me, and we won't have to go anywhere.
Daughter: Mom…?
Mom: What? I'm just saying. If we shot each other we couldn't go anywhere, anyways.
Dressing Room in Mall
Pennsylvania
13-year-old preppy white girl: It be sneakah time, ya'll!
Deptford Mall
Deptford, New Jersey
Girl #1: I used to be really good friends with her, but then we got in a fight.
Girl #2: How come?
Girl #1: Well, I gave her lice.
Rockingham Mall
Salem, New Hampshire
Redneck woman: He said that he could tell she really dug him because she farted in front of him.
Friend: Oh, she'll fart in front of anybody!
Square Mall
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: pull my finger
Scary-looking older woman with two teenage girls: Well, they only skinned and hung up one man by his ankles.
Movie Entrance, Chapel Hills Mall
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Thug #1, in restroom stall: Oh, shit!
Thug #2, outside restroom: What's goin' on?
Thug #1: Why's it bleeding? It's bleeding! Why's it bleeding?!
Thug #2: Yo, you better wash your goddamn hands after you done in there.
Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Dack
Girl #1: Hey! I still have your bra from the other night. (takes bra out of her bag and hands it over)
Girl #2: Oh yeah, thanks! Wait, it has bumps in it! It didn't have bumps in it before!
Girl #1: Yeah, I wore it. It was cleaner than mine.
Girl #2: Huh?
Girl #1: Uh…no, of course I didn't wear it!
Girl #2: Well, someone did. With bumpy boobs. It didn't have bumps before.
Queen Street Mall
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: uh-huh
