Guy in Pirates jersey: Just another planet Monday… Wait, how does that go?
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Flab Treesports
Student teacher: All right, guys, let's try that again. But this time with 30 to 40% less child death.
Clarksville, Maryland
Mom, doing mock interview of five-year-old for their journal: Okay, who is your least favorite person?
Five-year-old: Saddam Hussein, and the girl at school with the bent chin.
Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
Chick: Are you sure you’re a photographer? Your hands are so soft!
Dude: That’s not my photography hand.
Taber’s Restaurant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Flying Pig
Med student #1: You broke up with her because of a facial expression?
Med student #2: Man, if you saw her “o” face you'd would've done the same. (makes contorted face with mouth wide open)
Med student #1: Oh, hell yeah… that's some ugly shit to come to.
Med student #2: I would have never been able to get off… and all those sounds!
Med student #1: Sexy?
Med student #2: Jungle. Primal.
School of Medicine
University of Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
10-year-old boy to Scrabble players: You guys are playing Scrabble? That’s totally pimpin’!
Comic book store
Towson, Maryland
Girl to sister: Go away and come back when I can love you again.
Ruby Tuesday
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Eavesdropping customer
Professor: Well, I'm not supposed to state my own political views. (pause) Ah, to hell with it, I'm just going to say it: Sarah Palin is a complete fucking disaster!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
Bartender #1: Yeah, so I had this weird shit comin' outta my dick. It was sick, dude. Like this funky green pus-like shit oozing from the tip. Smelled like shit, too.
Bartender #2: Dude, you need to quit boning so many filthy whores. You're like rotting from the inside.
Bartender #1: Shit, man, I don't give a fuck. As long as I keep gettin' laid.
Bartender #2: You ain't gonna be doin' shit if your fuckin' nasty dick falls off.
Bartender #1: I know, right? This last chick I nailed was a total slut. I pulled down my pants and she could smell whatever's up with my cock. She goes “Ew, what stinks? Is that your dick?” And I go, “No, it's my feet, I swear!” Then I just pulled her towards me and shoved it in. It was awesome.
Bartender #2: Fuck, man. Something's definitely wrong with you.
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Nasty Nate
Party girl: It's a pow-wow!
Party guy: Dude, everyone knows it's not a pow-wow without a fire.
Party girl: I have a sombrero.
Party guy: No, no, that's a fiesta!
Salisbury, Maryland
