Loud woman on cell: I mean I know he was seriously injured–he had a few fractures and sprains and he hurt his neck and back… But hey, that's what you get when you take too many shots and fall backwards down a flight of stairs because you tripped over your neighbor's dog… I'm so glad we won this case!
MBTA Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Five-year-old girl (pointing at penis on sculpture in museum): Daddy, what's that?
Daddy: What do you think it is?
Girl's little sister: It's a butt!
Five-year-old girl (pause, whispers in amazement): It's a penis.
Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: loves smart kids
Chick: I had a friend who thought she was really depressed for years, but it turned out it was just a yeast infection in all of her organs. This could be you.
Woods Hole, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TARDIS Dyke
Bimbette, as Dalai Lama approaches podium: He’s supposed to be the reincarnation of, like, God or whatever.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: velvin
Mom, walking in the rain: This is not good.
Four-year-old son: It’s nice!
Mom: It is not nice, what the hell?!
Springfield, Massachusetts
Girl in bathroom stall #1: I have really exciting news!
Girl in bathroom stall #2: You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: No. When I bought these pants they fit, and now they are too big! I've been trying to lose some weight.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's great! What size are they?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Ummm… 25s.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's like a size zero. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Oh, is that too small or something?
Restaurant Bathroom
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl to friends trying to eat lunch: And then all of a sudden his penis started groundhoging!
Friends: (blank stare)
Franklin Dining Hall, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cate
Preppy guy: You’re such a bitch, Alexandra.
Alexandra: Thanks?
Preppy guy: No, in a good way.
Alexandra: How can you be a bitch in a good way?
Preppy guy: You’re the kind of bitch that makes me wish I was gay so we could sit at an outside cafe and make fun of people’s outfits when they walk by.
Starbucks, Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i want to, too!
Small child: Mmm! Oooh! Mmm! Mommy, that feels good when it comes out!
Mother, whispering: Shut up.
Restroom, Tanglewood
Lenox, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Stephanie
Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)
Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: arrc
