Everyone Deserves at Least One Brush with Greatness

Woman, searching through bargain bin: Do you want this? This woman taught at Bennington!
Girl: Dude, that's old! She teaches at my school now. Her son was in my class. His lab puppy shat on dreadlock, girl!

Borders
Mansfield, Massachusetts

Posted on November 15, 2009
Animals, Education, Girls, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Poop, Stores, Women

So Many Girls Are Fascists, but Don't Know It

Girl #1: My dream is to have a harem of guys that I can make dress up like the pale man from Pan's Labyrinth.
Girl #2: Why the hell would you do that?
Girl #1: Because it would be awesome and scary. I just want to see a bunch of people running away from me and my harem.

Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts

Posted on November 15, 2009
Clothes, Clothing, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Fears, Girls, Massachusetts, Movies, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness, Wishes

Why You Often See Sneakers Thrown Over Telephone Wires

Woman to man: I ask you for sneakers, and you give me skanky, nasty sneakers? I will never ask you for sneakers again. I would rather go footless.

Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: but wouldn't you still need sneakers?

Posted on November 5, 2009
Gripes, Guys, Massachusetts, Shoes, Women

…And a Photo Of My Face Drooling White Liquid?

Greek mythology professor: So, why is there a flying penis on the screen?

Amherst, Massachusetts

Posted on October 9, 2009
Education, Massachusetts, Penis, Questions, Teachers

Social Norms Are Different in the People's Republic

10-year-old boy to friend, about Austin Powers: Your mom let you watch that movie? She doesn't even let you have sugar!

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Posted on September 24, 2009
Food, Friends, Kids, Massachusetts, Movies, Parenting, Questions

Next Time, Actually Read My Nametag.

Drunk chick: Haha, you're a cheeky queen.
Drunk queer: Don't call me a cheeky queen! I'm a dirty bitch!

Provincetown, Massachusetts

Posted on September 10, 2009
Chicks, Drunks, Insults, Massachusetts, Queers, Words

The Enemy Of My Imaginary Enemy Is My Imaginary Friend

Hip-hop thug on train bursts out, to no one in particular: Fuck you, man!
(spits on floor) You don't like it, do somethin' 'bout it. (pause) You want my dick? You want to be on my dick?
(silence).
Chica sitting opposite: Who are you talking to?
(hip-hop thug mumbles)
Chica: I don't think anyone wants to be on your dick.

Boston, Massachusetts