…I Suddenly Had a Brilliant Idea.

Lady #1: My husband and I are going to Vegas tomorrow for four days. Our only trip without the kids. I am ticked because today I got my period.
Lady #2: Oh, what a pain in the ass.
Lady #1: Ahhhh?!

Hamburg, Michigan

Posted on June 20, 2009
Backdoor, Comebacks, Family ties, Health & Hygiene, Holidays, Michigan, Women

Or Did You Shave Your Upper Lip With Occam's Razor?

Freshman, walking down hallway with friend: Dude, this hallway smells like the pussy I ate last night.

High School
West Bloomfield, Michigan

Posted on June 20, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Friends, Licking, Michigan, Sensory experiences, Students, Vagina

…In Unrelated News.

High school psychology teacher: As humans, we all walk around on two legs. We're all pedophiles.

Michigan

Overheard by: Did you mean

Posted on June 15, 2009
Body parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Kids, Michigan, Sexuality, Teachers, Words

Every Now and Then, My Inner Cracker Pops Up and Says Stupid Shit

Black girl in car: God, I wish I was black so I could say things like that.
White girl in car: But wait…you are black.
Black girl in car: I can't believe I just said that!

Detroit, Michigan

Posted on June 13, 2009
Black people, Default, Girls, Guys, Michigan, Race, Religion, Weather, Whiteys, Wishes

She Won't Even Buy “Fancy” Ketchup

Girl, looking at a bag of chips: How about these?
Friend checking for price: They're three dollars.
Girl, putting back the bag of chips: Dayuuummm! We don't need anything that fancy!

Grocery Store
Michigan

Overheard by: just buying some salsa.

Posted on June 9, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Friends, Girls, Michigan, Money, Questions, Stores

All Octopus Hymns Have Eight Verses

Chick: I just don't want to sing about suckers with the step family!

Michigan

Overheard by: Meister E.

Posted on June 1, 2009
Default, Family ties, Girls, Michigan, Offers and requests, Singing

Colleges Really Should Let Freshmen Drive

Guy at comic book store: The last thing I want to see when watching Transformers is the car crying in the garage all alone because the kid is going away to college.

Muskegon, Michigan

Posted on May 22, 2009
Default, Feelings, Guys, Kids, Michigan, Movies

Tell Me You Didn't Get It Just to Use That Line?

Girl: Yeah, my husband's in Iraq. And I just got a boob job! How do you like my rack?

High School Reunion
Michigan

Posted on May 2, 2009
Body parts, Default, Geography, Girls, Michigan, Questions, Relationships, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

Or Why We Have Matching Engagement Rings

Male tour guide: So, this building is wh…
Sorostitute: Oh my god! Mike! (hugs tour guide)
Male tour guide: Hi…how are you?
Sorostitute: I'm great, but I gotta run, call me!
Mom in tour: I thought you said your name was Josh!
Male tour guide: It is…I don't know who that was.

Eastern Michigan University

Posted on April 30, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Girls, Guys, Michigan, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority types, Weirdness

Back in My Day, It Wasn't a Race Without at Least a Little Mooing

Man to daughter entering race: So, do you have to quack while you run, or…how does that work?

4th of July Parade
Brighton, Michigan

Overheard by: Tonya

Posted on March 31, 2009
Dads, Default, Games, Guys, Michigan, Offers and requests, Questions