Later the Cafeteria Staff Served Us Pasta Boobies

Random freshman: And then this junior girl came up to me and was like, “look at this penis on my locker…his name is Napoleon.”

Lakeland Regional High School
Wanaque, New Jersey

Overheard by: kristina

Posted on October 28, 2008
Default, Guys, History, Names, New Jersey, Penis, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students

I'm Not an Expert on Bone Density, But Wouldn't the Floor Be Getting Closer?

Professor: The floor's getting further away the older I get, but there's always Jack Daniels and Percocet.

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: hopes he never gets THAT old

Posted on October 18, 2008
Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Teachers

Just Once, I'd Like Somebody to Weep With Gratitude

Annoying girl #1: She's the only girl I know that really wants to fuck a 90-year-old man.
Annoying girl #2: I really would!

Chilis, New Jersey

Overheard by: K

Posted on October 12, 2008
Age and ageing, Default, Friends, Girls, New Jersey, Sexuality, Weirdness, Wishes

Dunno What All the Fuss Is About

Random old guy: I've been pregnant for 12 months.

Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: Russ

Posted on October 2, 2008
Default, Gender issues, Guys, New Jersey, Old folks, Pregnancy, Time Management, Weirdness

…Okay, So I Guess It's Just the One

Girl #1: Aren't you proud of me?
Girl #2: I am! But I'm also proud of you for other things, like… (long silence)

Tiger Noodles
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Brokeass Harem

Posted on October 2, 2008
Default, Feelings, Girls, New Jersey, Questions, Weirdness

When I Come Back with Half a Face, It's on Your Conscience

(little girl follows older sister into the bathroom)
Older sister: Sarah, do not come in here with me! I'm on the phone!
Sarah: But I have to go to the bathroom! Besides, you're just talking to your boyfriend.
Older sister: Sarah, I mean it! Go up to the room.
Sarah: You know daddy doesn't let me go in the elevator by myself.
Older sister: Just do it, he's not going to know.
Sarah: But someone could take me!
Older sister: Yeah right, who would want you?
Sarah: The Vice President of the United States!

Marriot Hotel
Teaneck, New Jersey