Male student: I mean, I thought she wanted me to cum on her tummy!
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Alice Haefeli
Male student: I mean, I thought she wanted me to cum on her tummy!
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Alice Haefeli
Mother to three-year-old son: What are you doing? Come here, stop looking at the bras!
Son: (mumbles something unintelligible)
Mother: Yes, I know they're beautiful…but they're not for you!
Target
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Amused Employee
Seven-year-old-daughter: I'm sorry, daddy, but I love crafts!
Father: I know…can't you find another hobby?
Seven-year-old-daughter: No, daddy, it's going to be just like at camp!
Father: Yeah, your mother and I should have switched you at the hospital.
Michael's
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Diana
70-year-old professor, about The Exorcist as example of blasphemy: She used a crucifix as a self-mutilating dildo…
Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Woman to thug in fur coat: Now, I don't even know your real name or your birth certificate name.
Thug in fur coat, puzzled: Most black people don't know each other's real names!
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: EmGusk
Guy on cell : Yeah, dude, I got her tickets to the Met! $15 seats, so we're way up there, but we're on the aisle too, so we won't get interfered with while we're going at it. (a few minutes later) So the loss of my virginity is imminent.
Jersey City Light Rail
New Jersey
Overheard by: twoferrets
Jersey girl #1: And then she was like, “What's a Guido?”
Jersey girl #2 (blissfully): I like to think there's a world where people don't know what Guidos are. I bet there'd be unicorns.
Manasquan, New Jersey
Black girl #1: It looks like you're wearing underwear.
Black girl #2: I am wearing underwear.
Black girl #1: Oh okay.
Black girl #2: Wanna see?
Black girls surrounding: No!
Jackson Memorial High School
Jackson, New Jersey
Asian chick: I'm going to meet my old boss at that Thai restaurant. You know, the one with the woman that feels me up.
Asian dude: Oh, yeah. Aren't all Thai women bisexual?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Shringle
Crazy lady, noticing long line: Is this the line to urinate? I can not believe this is the urination line. Unbelievable! I can't wait this long to urinate. There is no way. I have kidney problems. I need to urinate now. I don't wanna cut in line. I'll just go in the men's room. (as she enters men's room) I am a woman coming in here. I can not wait in a long line to urinate.
(a few minutes later, to women in line, while coming out) See! Your line hasn't even moved!
Hamilton Mall, New Jersey
Overheard by: last in line
