No. And Stop Snorting That Flour

Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!

Safeway
Lakeport, California

Overheard by: Corinna

I Leave the Details to My Subordinates

Girl on cell: What do you want? I’m in a fucking dressing room… Oh yeah, I guess there was a stabbing earlier… What? It’s not like I was the one stabbing people!

1576 NE Halsey
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: really?

Yes, I Found Out What I’m Doing Now Is Illegal

Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Now Kindly Fasten Your Seat Belts in Case the Doors Fly Off

Stewardess: Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen. The first two planes we tried didn’t work, so this is the third one and we made it here okay…so, so far, so good!

Airport Runway
Cabo San Lucas
Mexico

Hell, There Will Probably Be More!

Guy to girl selling breast cancer t‑shirts: I’ll do it later — the kids with cancer will still have cancer.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/update-39.html/

Overheard by: Mike

Before We Have a Chance to Pass on Our Genes?

Girl #1: We are so fly, we should kill ourselves.
Guy: Oh, yeah.
Girl #2 nods.

http://overheardatthemecca.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: autumn

The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy

Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off! 

Star Wars 30^th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California

In Spanish This Is Rich With Meaning

Guy at party: You know, if I tell you it’s ’cause I tell you, if not…why would I tell you?

Leon
Mexico

Overheard by: Oscar

Relax– That Just Means It Likes You

(strange loud sound comes from the plane)
Calm but confused flight attendant: That’s weird, I’ve never heard that before.
Freaked out passenger: Um, excuse me? What?!

Flight to Cancun, Mexico

It’s Shiny, but with No Waxy Buildup

Chick on cell: I don’t know — sometimes I’m just overwhelmed with a desire to smell my boss’s head.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Jason Carr