Offers and requests

Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, you're going to have to hang up your phone and run it through the machine.
20-something girl intern: But I'm not a terrorist, and I'm on an important call. Can't I just walk through?
Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, that would be like Timothy McVeigh driving up and asking “hey, can I park my car here?”

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/insert-inappropriate-terrorism-joke.html

Overheard by: Ian

Male flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived at a gate. Please make sure you have all your personal belongings before you disembark: iPods, cell phones, BlackBerrys, small pets, sweaters, sunglasses, and since we just came from Las Vegas, wedding rings. Make sure you get those back on folks.

Oakland Airport, California

Overheard by: kat

Student #1: So what do you think, eh?
Student #2: Are you Canadian?
Student #1: Why in the world are you asking me that? Is it because I said “eh”?
Student #2: Well, yeah.
Student #1: That is a total misconception! Not all Canadians end sentences with the word “eh”! I can't believe you think that!
Student #2: (thinking it over) So are you?
Student #1: Canadian? Yes.

Wabash
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Laughing as I pass

Little boy: How 'bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!

St. Joseph, Michigan

Customer, browsing selection of charm bracelets: Do you have any Nazi charm bracelets? My daughter loves that stuff!
Craft vendor: Uh…no.

Craft Show
San Diego, California

Dude: Just press your nipple up against the glass.

Roller Derby Game
Victoria
Canadia

Overheard by: Jay

Freshman girl, gesturing: I bet it's thiiiis tiny!
Big black freshman, barreling up stairs: No! I'll show you!

High School
Skillman, New Jersey

Overheard by: 3 guesses at what they're talking about.

African-American man on phone: Well, now, you just bring your hair… and you be on your way.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/405923160/left-it-in-my-other-purse.html

Overheard by: serial forgetter of hair

Drunk girl: I want to be lesbionic!

Georgia Tech

Overheard by: YellowJacketGals

Mom: Can you sit there and be mommy's good boy just a little longer? We're almost done shopping.
Boy: No. I'm not your good boy. I'm not your good boy anymore.
Mom: Oh you aren't? Then will you be a big boy for me?
Boy: No, I'm not your big boy! I'm not your big boy, and I'm not your good boy anymore.
Mom: Oh really, then what are you?
Boy: I'm a grandma!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/08/read-too-much-shirley-maclaine.html

Overheard by: kari