But I'm Currently Putting David Hasselhoff Through a Rigorous Mentorship Program

Elderly Italian lady to store clerk, while judging jugs of wine: I'm the last of the great drinkers.

Liquor Store
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Steve

Posted on July 30, 2018
Compare and contrast, Default, Drinking & drunks, Foreigners, Old folks, Pennsylvania, Stores, Women, Words

You're As Big a Disappointment As Your Mother!

Elderly lady to six-month-old baby: Now, I want you to say nice and clearly, “here I am, grandmother,” when I ask you where you are.

Oxford
England

Posted on July 28, 2018
Age and ageing, Bringing it back to you, Family ties, Kids, Old folks, UK

But All You Have Are Seven Cats and a Yarn Collection!

Grandmother: I had to write you out of my will.
10-year-old grandson: What? Why?
Grandmother: You never called. I can’t give you money and things if you never call.
10-year-old grandson: But I love you.
Grandmother: You can’t just say it! You have to mean it and show it! I’m keeping you out of the will!

Target
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on June 28, 2018
Death & dying, Family ties, Georgia, Gripes, Kids, Money, Old folks

At Least, I Can't.

Grey-haired grandma to another: Of course, it was worse for him because she left to become a lesbian. (pause) And you can't help thinking of all that licking.

Norfolk Island

Overheard by: kk

Posted on June 24, 2018
Australia, Default, Old folks, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, Weirdness, Women

…When I Sat on His Face. What?

Girl #1: My 21st birthday was fun.
Girl #2: So was mine, minus the fact that my friends bought stuffed animal beavers at the winery and proceeded to yell about how soft and hairy their beavers were… While my dad was driving.
Girl #2's grandma: What's a beaver?
Girl #2's mom: It's…what some people call the female genitalia.
Girl #2's grandma: Ohhh…your grandfather used to just call it a cunt.

San Francisco, California

Posted on June 12, 2018
Age and ageing, Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Girls, Hair, Moms, Old folks, Questions, San Francisco, Vagina, Words

I've Already Gotten You to Cave on Drugs and Rock N' Roll

Older black man: You love sex! You do! Just admit it!
Young black guy: I won't admit it!
Older black guy: Yes you will! Yes you will!

Fremont Street
Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on May 7, 2018
Black people, Default, Feelings, Guys, Nevada, Offers and requests, Old folks, Sex

But at Least She Felt Comfortable Coming Out to Us

Elderly woman #1: And all her chinaware was Royal Worcester!
Elderly woman #2, looking shocked: No! Really? You wouldn't tell by looking at her, would you?
Elderly woman #1, shaking head: No, you would not.

Rural Staffordshire
England