I Forget by Whom

72-year-old lady: The last time I was carded buying alcohol I was 35 and pregnant.

Kohl’s
Dunedin, Florida

Posted on November 11, 2013
Florida, Memory lane, Old folks

Perhaps You Should Get That Checked Out?

Old man: You got bats in your belfry?
Jaded 20-something: Yeah, I don't know what I've got in my belfry…

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on August 18, 2011
Animals, New Jersey, Old folks, Penis, Questions, Sexuality

Why Do You Think They Called It “The Battle Of the Bulge”?

Old man to another, over lunch: And once one of the Germans got constipated, none of us could shit for weeks!

Valparaiso, Indiana

Posted on May 16, 2011
Gossip, Indiana, Old folks, Poop, Weirdness

Maybe Getting Some Hair Extensions

Elderly lady to another: I wonder what God's doing right now. Probably drunk, celebrating his 400th birthday.

Washingtonville, New York

Overheard by: Trisha

Posted on February 2, 2011
Drinking & drunks, God, Leisure, New York, Old folks, Questions, Religion

I'd Hoped to Outgrow My Vanity, Too

80-year-old grandmother walking feebly down the stairs: I'm not drunk; I'm handicapped.
Daughter assisting her: She's drunk and handicapped.
80-year-old grandmother: Okay. That's true… I just didn't want to bring my cane.

Turner Field, Braves Game
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Drunk, but Not Handicapped

Posted on November 20, 2010
Age and ageing, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Georgia, Maladies, Old folks

They Get All Our Leftover Weather, Anyway

Old lady: Are you able to check the weather in Toronto?
Young guy: No, the internet can't reach that far.
Old lady: Oh.

Windsor
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on September 11, 2010
Canadia, Guys, Internet, Old folks, Questions, Weather, Weirdness, Women

Well, We Will Be Running Around in Diapers Before We Know It.

Older woman: Want to go see the movie Babies tonight at 7:30?
Older man: Mmmmmmmmmmmm…
Older woman: It's too late for it to inspire us!

Coffee Shop
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Greg

Posted on August 2, 2010
Georgia, Kids, Movies, Offers and requests, Old folks, Pregnancy, Stores

…In the Immortal Words Of Jack Kerouac

Old lady: I have a roof over me and clothes on my back, but I can't wash my box…

Lowell, Massachusetts

Overheard by: glad I wasn't sitting next to her

Posted on July 11, 2010
Cleanliness, Clothes, Massachusetts, Old folks, Vagina

How Hard Is That?

Old woman, yelling: Did you remember to put Viagra on the list?
Old man, yelling, very annoyed: Of course I did!
Old woman, yelling: Well, I don't know! You forgot to put milk on the list!

Mall
New Hampshire

Posted on June 2, 2010
Food, Health & Hygiene, Malls, New Hampshire, Old folks

Raise Your Hand If You See Nothing Wrong with This Logic

Old Scottish professor in mid lecture: There happened to be something wrong with the quality of the product from the plant in Belgium, and the company response was: “well, of course you're getting sick, you live in Belgium. What a stupid place to live.”

Medford, Massachusetts

Posted on June 1, 2010
Comebacks, Education, Massachusetts, Old folks, Stupidity, Teachers, Weirdness

Old folks